- Tony Soprano: My wife thinks I need to meet new people.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So?
- Tony Soprano: C'mon, you're Italian, you understand. Guys like me we're brought up to think that Merigan are fuckin' bores. The truth is the average white man is no more boring than the millionth conversation over who should have won, Marciano or Ali.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So am I to understand that you don't consider yourself white?
- Tony Soprano: I don't mean white like Caucasian. I mean a white man like our friend Cusamano. Now he's Italian, but he's Merigan. It's what my old man would have called a Wonder Bread wop. He eats his Sunday gravy out of a jar.
- Christopher Moltisanti: That's guy a gangster? I'm a gangster! I'm an O.G. Original Gangster not him. Fuckin' lawn jockey. He's got the fly Hamptons house, Alec Baldwin comes over, Whitney Houston. What do I got? I sit in a fucking pork store for Christ's sake!
- Christopher Moltisanti: Hey, whose fuckin' welfare check you gotta cash to get a burger around here?
- Christopher Moltisanti: [to Massive Genius] Hesh is the world's sweetest guy. But I've heard his opinions on giving back pieces of Israel. I can only imagine what he's gonna say about this shit.
- Christopher Moltisanti: "Rent". Fuckin' Broadway musicals. I mean we're supposed to get all fuckin' weepy-eyed cause they turned off the heat in some guy's loft.
- Massive Genius: [to Hesh] So you bought horses with your royalties. And Little Jimmy's royalties, whatever became of those?
- Silvio Dante: He bought "horse".
- Massive Genius: [to Chris] You people are alright. "Godfather", I seen that movie two hundred times. "Godfather II" was definitely the shit. The third one... A lot of people didn't like it. But I think it was just misunderstood.
- Herman 'Hesh' Rabkin: [to Massive Genius] You're talking to the wrong white man, my friend. My people were the white man's nigger when yours were still painting their faces and chasing zebras.
- Tony Soprano: When I was a kid there was this guy in my neighborhood. We used to call him "Jimmy Smash"
- Tony Soprano: [Eventually points to his lips] he wasn't retarded but we thought he was he had one of these Whatchamacallit?
- Tony Soprano: [Imitates jimmy Smash's speech impediment] "Hey Jimmy how the fuck you doing", what'd you call that?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Cleft pallet
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, we were kids right? What the hell did we know? Every time he'd open his mouth, we'd piss ourselves laughing but Jimmy didn't mind because he got to hang out with us you know? It wasn't until years I found out the poor prick was crying himself to sleep. Now when I found out I felt bad but I never fully understood what he felt to be used for somebody's amusement like a fuckin dancing bear
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: But you thought Cusamano was your friend?
- Tony Soprano: You live, you learn
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Do you mind if I ask you a question? What ever happened to Jimmy?
- Tony Soprano: [Eventually imitates jimmy Smash's speech impediment] his doing twenty years for robbery, it wasn't hard for the cops to tell it was Jimmy. He goes up to the bank teller and says "Give me all your money"
- Massive Genius: Bold men make bold statements.
- Christopher Moltisanti: Why they send you over? I'm lookin' for a burger not converted rice.
- Adriana La Cerva: Oh, Madon'.
- Massive Genius: Your woman looks embarrassed.
- Randy Wagner: What does that do to property values having a gangster living next door?
- Dr. Bruce Cusamano: Are you kidding? Safest block in the neighb. And being a gangster what does it mean anyway?
- Randy Wagner: That's true. Some of the shit I see in the boardroom. I don't know if I'd make a distinction.
- Barb Wagner: Oh, will you please. It's not the same thing.
- Dr. Bruce Cusamano: Bugging, bribes. I don't know. Sometimes I think the only thing separating the American business from the mobs is fuckin' whackin' somebody.
- Jean Cusamano: Listen to you.
- Dr. Bruce Cusamano: What?
- Jean Cusamano: Whackin'. He hangs around with Tony Soprano for 15 minutes, and it's fuckin' this and fuckin' that.
- Barb Wagner: We were over there for that fund-raiser. I didn't see any guns anywhere.
- Jean Cusamano: Oh, but that bar with the goombah Murano glass.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I like Murano glass.
- Christopher Moltisanti: Yo, hairnet central, what am I back here? Mark Fuhrman?
- Adriana La Cerva: Chris, would you chill?
- Christopher Moltisanti: It's fuckin' discrimination already!
- Orange J: We're havin' a party at G's crib. Englewood Cliffs. You interested?
- Christopher Moltisanti: And I get served with black-eyed peas tomorrow? Yo, I know what time it is.
- Christopher Moltisanti: Soprano crew, it's always secret "this", Omertà "that", fuckin gets on my nerves. Junior with his oldy, moldy sweaters and he's a fuckin boss
- Adriana La Cerva: You were just feeling so good about yourself
- Christopher Moltisanti: Our "thing" once ruled the music business, did you know that?
- Adriana La Cerva: No
- Christopher Moltisanti: We bankrolled acts, blacks, everybody. Paid the DJ's or busted heads to get them played on the air
- Adriana La Cerva: there were some great Italian singers
- Christopher Moltisanti: Fuckin A! Frankie Valli, Dion, The Rascals, the whole Philly thing, my dad used to talk about those guys. Now? Fuckin drum machines, some ignorant poetry and any fuckin fourth grade dropout ditsoon is chairman of the board.