- [after Clarks catches Santa who stumbles and falls off the roof]
- Drunk Santa: Ho, ho, holy cow!
- Clark Kent: Merry Christmas.
- Clark Kent: Chloe, this isn't Toys for Tots, this is Toys R' Us. How many are there?
- Chloe Sullivan: A couple of thousand, give or take. Now, I MapQuested these addresses and the sooner you can get started, the better.
- [she puts a Santa cap on Clark]
- Chloe Sullivan: Here comes Santa Claus!
- Clark Kent: Okay, so what's the problem?
- Chloe Sullivan: Well, the presents need to delivered tonight and the teamsters are on strike on Christmas Eve.
- Clark Kent: So, instead of calling FedEx, you called me?
- Lana Lang: Try to be back by six so we can make it to the Kents' party.
- Lex: The Kents?
- Lana Lang: And this year, try and remember that we're on a budget.
- Lex: What? We have a budget?
- Lana Lang: Lex, it's been seven years since your father cut up your platinum card. I think it's about time to embrace the middle class lifestyle.
- Clark Kent: Listen I don't want to be nosy but, I was just wondering, Santa, what are you doing up here? I mean, why are you going to jump?
- Drunk Santa: [takes a drink from his bottle] Give me one good reason why I shouldn't. You can't can yah? Got a good look at the world lately? It's all, take, take, take, bitch, bitch, bitch, what happened to Christmas? Peace on Earth? Good will to men? I'll tell you something: The Spirit of Christmas is dead. And it's gonna take a lot more than Santa Claus to revive it.
- Jonathan Kent: Look I probably shouldn't be showing you this but being a state senator does have its advantages, like ah, a little advance notice from the governor.
- [shows Lex a plaque for The Kanas Humanitarian Award. Awarded to Lex for his work with the homeless]
- Jonathan Kent: Lex I never thought I would actually say this, I couldn't be prouder of you if you were my own son.
- Lex: [overwhelmed with gratitude] Mr. Kent, Jonathan, I don't know what to say.
- Jonathan Kent: Let's tell everybody shall we? Hmm? Come on. Everybody grab a drink, come on, grab a glass, listen up here, thank you. Now, ladies and gentlemen I have it on very good authority that this year's Kansas Humanitarian Award is going to be given to our very own Lex Luthor. Ladies and gentlemen I give you, Lex Luthor, the finest man I know.
- [everyone claps and cheers]
- Lex: I'm talking about Lana! I know we've had our differences, but my wi- She's the mother of your grandchildren.
- Lionel Luthor: How can I have grandchildren? I don't have a son.
- Drunk Santa: I met a friend of yours, young Clark Kent. He told me what you two were doing, how you were giving up your respective Christmas Eves. I figured you could use a little help.
- Chloe Sullivan: Shouldn't you be, you know, standing on a street corner with a bell?
- Lex Luthor: I can't remember ever being this happy. This has been the best day of my life. Thank you.
- Lillian Luthor: It doesn't have to end, Lex. Every day can be this wonderful. I told you this is the life you could have, they life you *can* have, Lex.
- Lex Luthor: This is what I want. What do I have to do?
- Lillian Luthor: You just have to make the right decision, Lex. Follow your heart, not your ambition.
- Lex Luthor: What decision? What are you talking about?
- Lex Luthor: You know, my life hasn't turned out all the way I planned. And yet, I've never been happier.
- Clark Kent: Lex, you have a wonderful life, and every reason to be happy. You have a beautiful wife, great son, a baby on the way.
- Lex Luthor: Something I still can't quite believe. Me and Lana. Now, how the hell did that happen?
- Clark Kent: Well... You became the kind of man she could love.
- Lex Luthor: You mean the kind of man you've always been?
- Clark Kent: And, Lex, you offered something I didn't.
- Lex Luthor: What held you back, Clark? I mean, I know you love her. Loved her.
- Clark Kent: I don't know. I guess I just wasn't ready, Lex. Maybe I never will be. But I am glad that you and Lana ended up together, and we've been able to... remain such good friends.
- Lex Luthor: Thank you.