Mr. Rogers: What do you mean I can't take off my sweater? I'M HOT!
[after Bart and Milhouse are left in charge of the comic book shop]
Milhouse: Okay, here's Comic Book Guy's instructions: A carton of malted milk balls, one box confectioner's sugar, a can of chocolate frosting...
Bart: That's just his shopping list.
Milhouse: No, it's his instructions.
[Bart and Milhouse are watching a secret tape of police informants]
Ned Flanders: I really hate to be a snitch.
Chief Wiggum: Don't worry, your yellow-bellied ratting will be held in the strictest confidence.
Ned Flanders: Well, in that case, my neighbor Homer released a radioactive ape into my house. It's, uh, taken over the top floor.
Bart: It wasn't dad's fault. The ape tricked him.