"The Simpsons" Whacking Day (TV Episode 1993) Poster

(TV Series)



[Homer is heading out to participate in Whacking Day]

Lisa: Dad, for the last time, please don't lower yourself to the level of the mob.

Homer: Lisa, maybe if I'm part of that mob, I can help steer it in wise directions. Now where's my giant foam cowboy hat and airhorn?

Homer: Inside every man is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved.

[Dissolve to inside Homer's head; "Evil Homer," dressed in a devil suit, is dancing and shaking two castanets over a grave marked "Good Homer."]

Homer: I am Evil Homer! I am Evil Homer!

Miss Springfield: Gentlemen, start your whacking.

[Barry White is the Guest of Honor on Whacking Day]

Mayor Quimby: Now I'd like to introduce our Grand Marshal, the Prophet of Love, Larry White.

Barry White: Barry White.

Mayor Quimby: No, it says here Larry White.

Barry White: I know my own name.

Mayor Quimby: Yeah? Well, we'll just see!

Bart: Whacking Day is a sham. It was originally conceived in 1922 as an excuse to beat up on the Irish.

Old Irishman: 'Tis true. I took many a lump, but 'twas all in good fun.

Reverend Timothy Lovejoy: [Reading from his Bible] And the Lord said, "Whack ye all the serpents which crawl upon their bellies, and thy town shall be a beacon unto others." So you see, Lisa, even God Himself endorses Whacking Day.

Lisa: Let me see that.

Reverend Timothy Lovejoy: [Putting his Bible away] No.

Barney: [Barney is hitting the ground with a stick] Take that snake! Ungh! And you too! Snakes! Snakes everyhere!

Lenny: Getting ready for Whacking Day?

Barney: What's Whacking Day?

[Whacking Day anthem - to the tune of "O Christmas Tree"]

Choir: O Whacking Day, O Whacking Day/Our hallowed snake-skull cracking day/We'll break their backs/Gouge out their eyes/Their evil hearts we'll pulverize/O Whacking Day, O Whacking Day/May God bestow his grace on Thee.

[asking the kids what they did in school]

Bart: I got expelled.

Homer: That's my boy!

[sips his beer]

Homer: Mmm, beer... *what*?

Barry White: I love the sexy slither of a woman snake.

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