Edit

(TV Series)

(2002)

Quotes

Otto Mann: [both stoned; watching "The Three Stooges"] Hey, "Shemp" spelled backwards is "Hemp"!

[laughs]

Homer Simpson: And Otto spelled backwards is "Otto"!

[laughs]

Otto Mann: Now I'm scared.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: [Homer tries his first medical marijuana in the bedroom, the smoke comes through the closed door and downstairs to where Marge, Lisa, and Bart are] What is that billowing down the stairs?

[Gasps]

Marge Simpson: It's smoke!

Lisa Simpson: [Sniffs] It smells like the art teacher's office.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Homer is surrounded by crows at Moe's Bar]

Moe Szyslak: All right, get 'em outta here. This ain't no crow-bar. THIS is a crow-bar.

[Moe reaches under the counter and pulls out a portrait of crows sitting at a bar]

Moe Szyslak: See? They got their little stools and everything.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: [stoned, at work on the phone] Marge! I just realized. I am the "ow" in the word "now."

[Angrily]

Homer Simpson: And if you tell anyone...!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: [thinking as he is watching Lisa play her sax] Wow, that sax would make a great pipe.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart Simpson: Dad, I thought you didn't like Lisa's saxophone.

Homer Simpson: I didn't. But now, daddy's special medicine-

[menacingly]

Homer Simpson: which you must never use because it will ruin your life- lets daddy see and hear magical things that you will never experience... ever!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: Oh man, we killed Mr. Burns! Mr. Burns is going to be so mad!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lisa Simpson: Mom, my potato is eating a carrot

[All are watching a huge potato eating a carrot that tries to escape on its own]

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: [Homer is naming off the crows in his bedroom] Homer, I'm not sure I'm comfortable sleeping with a group of crows in the bedroom in the night.

Homer Simpson: It's a murder, honey. A group of crows is called a murder.

Marge Simpson: I'm going to go sleep on the couch tonight.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Mr. Burns: Smithers, you could learn a thing or two from this braying moron.

[to Homer]

Mr. Burns: Young man, I'm making you my executive vice president.

Waylon Smithers: Uh, sir, I believe that position was informally promised to me.

Mr. Burns: Oh, Smithers. I would have said anything to get your stem cells.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: [Homer comes home with a new suit] Where did you get that suit?

Homer Simpson: Woah, woah, one question at a time.

[Points to Marge]

Homer Simpson: Yes, you?

Marge Simpson: Homer, I am getting really worried you are going overboard with this. We are out of clothespins, there are half-eaten cupcakes all around the house, and the curtains smell like doob.

Homer Simpson: Well I got news for you: I just got promoted and it's all thanks to yes-I-cannabis!

[Homer walks away]

Homer Simpson: We have a kitchen?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Homer is getting stitches in his eyes]

Homer: I hate getting stitches in my eye. Stupid crows.

Dr. Julius Hibbert: Now, don't be mad at the crows, Homer. They weren't trying to blind you, they were just trying to drink your sweet, sweet eye juices.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[At Moe's]

Lenny: It's a good thing you stopped smoking the magic grass, Homer. You were getting spaced out.

Carl: Yeah, we were planning an intervention, but I got alcohol poisoning that night.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Mr. Burns: Smithers, you could learn a thing or two from this braying moron.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart: As long as you're doing things for me, will you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house?

Homer: NEVER.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Otto: They call 'em "fingers," but I never see 'em fing. Oh wait, there they go.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Homer is listening to Lisa playing her saxaphone while he's high on marijuana]

Bart: Hey, Dad, I thought you hated Lisa's sax.

Homer: I did, but now Daddy's new medicine... which you must never use. Because it will ruin your life... helps Daddy see the magical colors that you will never experience... EVER.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Homer reads label on medicinal pot]

Homer: Caution, objects may apppear more edible than they actually are.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Hibbert: You can't let a single bad experience scare you away from drugs.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page