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Quotes

Smithers: Are you sure you want to go through with this, sir? You do have a very full wardrobe as it is.

Mr. Burns: Yes, but not completely full, for you see... /

[singing]

Mr. Burns: Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food. The only thing I'm hunting for, is an outfit that looks good... / See... my... Vest. See my vest. / Made from real gorilla chest. / See this sweater, there's no better, than authentic Irish Setter. / See this hat? 'Twas my cat, / My evening wear vampire bat. / These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino. / Grizzly bear underwear, / Turtle's necks I've got my share. / Beret of Poodle on my noodle I shall rest. / Try my red robin suit, it comes one breast or two. / See my vest. See my vest. See my vest. / Like my loafers? Former gophers, / It was that or skin my chauffeurs / but a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best. / So let's prepare these dogs...

Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs.

Mr. Burns: See my vest, see my vest, oh please won't you see... my... Vest! I really like the vest.

Smithers: I gathered, yeah...

Lisa: He's gonna make a tuxedo out of our puppies!

Bart: [still humming the tune] Na na na na na na naa naaaa...

Lisa: Bart!

Bart: Sorry... You gotta admit it's catchy.

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Lisa: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog?

Bart: It looks like he's trying to jump over her but can't quite make it. Come on, boy! You can do it!

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Mr. Burns: Right now I'll be taking my puppies back.

Lisa: But they're ours, you stole them from us!

[Burns gives her a cell phone]

Mr. Burns: Here's a phone. Call somebody who cares.

[Lisa dials 9-1... ]

Mr. Burns: [snatches it back] Give me that!

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Bart: Hey, boy, you want to play fetch?

[Santa's Little Helper looks up, tired, then puts his head back down]

Bart: Aw. Me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team, but he never wants to play anymore since his bitch moved in.

Marge Simpson: Bart, don't ever say that word again!

Bart: Well, that's what she is. I looked it up.

Marge Simpson: Well, I'm going to write the dictionary people and have that checked. Feels like a mistake to me...

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Homer Simpson: Hmm, I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankering for some spankering!

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[a wild Santa's Little Helper digs up a dozen holes in the backyard]

Lisa: [gasp] My bongo drums!

Bart: My strobe light!

Homer Simpson: My "Best of Ray Stevens - featuring the 'Streak' - Album"! So it was the dog who buried all our stuff!

Marge Simpson: Yes... the dog.

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Bart: An army of dogs! No bully will ever touch me again!

[calls outside to Jimbo]

Bart: Hey, Jerkface! You have the face of a jerk!

Jimbo Jones: [grabs Bart] All right, Simpson, you asked for-!

Bart: Get him, boys!

[the dogs whimper and fall asleep]

Bart: [chuckles nervously] Uh, say, Jimbo, hope I wasn't out of line with that "Jerkface" crack...

[Jimbo punches him in the stomach and leaves]

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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