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Quotes

Marge: Every truckload of fish we gut brings us 31 cents closer to those tickets home.

Bart: And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do

[guts some fishes]

Bart: knife goes in, guts come out, knife goes in, guts come out

[pulls out a talking fish]

Fish: Spare my life and I will grant you three...

Bart: [guts the talking fish] Knife goes in, guts come out.

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Lisa Simpson: Hey look. There's a cybor cafe opening right here in Springfield. Will you take me dad? Please! I'll show you how to order pizza over the internet.

Homer Simpson: The internet? Is that thing still around?

Bart Simpson: I know a website that shows monkeys doing it.

Lisa Simpson: Bart, the internet is more than a global pornography network, it's a...

[Homer honks his car horn]

Homer Simpson: Come on Lisa, monkeys!

[Lisa groans]

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Lisa Simpson: Wow dad, you're surfing like a pro.

Homer Simpson: Oh yeah. I'm betting on Jai Alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called News Corp...

Lisa Simpson: Dad, that's Fox!

Homer Simpson: Augh! Undo! Undo!

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Homer Simpson: Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket.

Bart Simpson: And?

Homer Simpson: Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.

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Homer Simpson: If we want to see Japanese people, we can just go to the zoo.

Marge Simpson: [mortified] Homer!

Homer Simpson: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese... his name is Takashi... he's in my book club.

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Japanese Stewardess: [Seeing Bart playing his Game Boy] I'm sorry, you should not have on any electronic devices.

Bart Simpson: You're the boss.

[Bart turns off his Game Boy, then the plane takes a nose dive]

Japanese Stewardess: [Frantically] Turn it back on, turn it back on!

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Marge Simpson: You liked "Rashomon".

Homer Simpson: That's not how I remember it.

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Homer Simpson: [about his time in a Japanese prison] I had to do a stupid Kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, I wanted to be Yoshi but they made me Ori.

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Lisa Simpson: Now, can we do something that is Japanese?

Marge Simpson: Oh, I know that you wanna visit Japan, honey but we're down to our million yen

[pulls a yen bill out of her hair]

Homer Simpson: Here

[Takes the yen bill and makes an origami craine]

Homer Simpson: It's a craine they say it brings luck.

Marge Simpson: Careful Homer, we need that money to get home.

[Then the wind picks up and blows the bill away]

Homer Simpson: [In Japanese] D'oh!

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Wink, the Game Show Host: Your game shows reward knowledge. Here, we punish ignorance.

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Wink, the Game Show Host: Here are the catagories.

[the catagories are in Japanese]

Wink, the Game Show Host: Ow, that hurts, why are doing this to me and please let me die.

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Marge: C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You like Rashoman.

Homer: That's not how I remember it. Besides, if we wanted to see Japanese people we could have gone to the zoo.

Marge: Homer.

Homer: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. His name is Takashi. He's in my book club.

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Marge: Ooh. I never knew Jim Belushi made so many movies.

Homer: Yeah, isn't it amazing? They're filming one right now in the bathroom. It's gonna be on towards the end of the flight.

[a camera crew films Jim Belushi walking down the aisle]

Belushi: Toga. Toga. Toga 2000.

Homer: Marge. They stole my idea.

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Homer: Oh well. At least we'll die doing what we love: inhaling molten rock.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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