Marge: Every truckload of fish we gut brings us 31 cents closer to those tickets home.
Bart: And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do
[guts some fishes]
Bart: knife goes in, guts come out, knife goes in, guts come out
[pulls out a talking fish]
Fish: Spare my life and I will grant you three...
Bart: [guts the talking fish] Knife goes in, guts come out.
Lisa Simpson: Hey look. There's a cybor cafe opening right here in Springfield. Will you take me dad? Please! I'll show you how to order pizza over the internet.
Homer Simpson: The internet? Is that thing still around?
Bart Simpson: I know a website that shows monkeys doing it.
Lisa Simpson: Bart, the internet is more than a global pornography network, it's a...
[Homer honks his car horn]
Homer Simpson: Come on Lisa, monkeys!
Lisa Simpson: Wow dad, you're surfing like a pro.
Homer Simpson: Oh yeah. I'm betting on Jai Alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called News Corp...
Lisa Simpson: Dad, that's Fox!
Homer Simpson: Augh! Undo! Undo!
Homer Simpson: Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket.
Bart Simpson: And?
Homer Simpson: Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.
Homer Simpson: If we want to see Japanese people, we can just go to the zoo.
Marge Simpson: [mortified] Homer!
Homer Simpson: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese... his name is Takashi... he's in my book club.
Japanese Stewardess: [Seeing Bart playing his Game Boy] I'm sorry, you should not have on any electronic devices.
Bart Simpson: You're the boss.
[Bart turns off his Game Boy, then the plane takes a nose dive]
Japanese Stewardess: [Frantically] Turn it back on, turn it back on!
Homer Simpson: [about his time in a Japanese prison] I had to do a stupid Kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, I wanted to be Yoshi but they made me Ori.
Lisa Simpson: Now, can we do something that is Japanese?
Marge Simpson: Oh, I know that you wanna visit Japan, honey but we're down to our million yen
[pulls a yen bill out of her hair]
Homer Simpson: Here
[Takes the yen bill and makes an origami craine]
Homer Simpson: It's a craine they say it brings luck.
Marge Simpson: Careful Homer, we need that money to get home.
[Then the wind picks up and blows the bill away]
Homer Simpson: [In Japanese] D'oh!
Wink, the Game Show Host: Your game shows reward knowledge. Here, we punish ignorance.
Wink, the Game Show Host: Here are the catagories.
[the catagories are in Japanese]
Wink, the Game Show Host: Ow, that hurts, why are doing this to me and please let me die.
Marge: C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You like Rashoman.
Homer: That's not how I remember it. Besides, if we wanted to see Japanese people we could have gone to the zoo.
Homer: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. His name is Takashi. He's in my book club.
Marge: Ooh. I never knew Jim Belushi made so many movies.
Homer: Yeah, isn't it amazing? They're filming one right now in the bathroom. It's gonna be on towards the end of the flight.
[a camera crew films Jim Belushi walking down the aisle]
Belushi: Toga. Toga. Toga 2000.
Homer: Marge. They stole my idea.