The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Twisted World of Marge Simpson (1997)

Harry Shearer: Lenny, Picture Perfect Guy, Mr. Burns, Skinner, Baseball Announcer #1

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : Are you sure the children will get enough nutrition from these pretzels?

  Principal Skinner : [speaking in a stilted, monotone voice]  Yes, I am sure.

  [pays Marge, revealing a bandage on his hand] 

  Principal Skinner : Sure as sure can be.

  Marge Simpson : Oh my God, what happened to your fingers?

  Fat Tony : [mumbling from behind the door]  Boating accident.

  Principal Skinner : I believe it was a 'boaking' accident.

  [a laser sight is pointed at his head, followed by the sound of a hammer cocking into place] 

  Principal Skinner : I have to go now.

• Homer Simpson : Hey, what's all that commotion outside? Why, it's one of those pretzel wagons the movie stars are always talking about.

  Lenny : Here? At our plant?

  Homer Simpson : That's right, Lenny. Let's all give in to deliciousness the pretzel wagon way.

  Lenny : [cheering with their co-workers]  That's pretzeltastic.

  Homer Simpson : Let's go. Yeah. Homer's right.

• Marge Simpson : Welcome to Pretzel Wagon. May I take your order?

  Lenny : Uh, let's see. I'll have... one, uh...

  Carl : Hey, hurry up. I wanna get my pretzel.

  Lenny : One pretzel.

  Marge Simpson : [he pays and moves on]  Thank you.

  Carl : Uh, let's see, um... I will have one of your, uh...

  Mr. Burns : Come on, come on, while we're young.

  Lenny : [honking its horn, the Fleet-A-Pita van pulls up]  Wow, check out that van. It looks like it doesn't even need our business.

  Carl : Hey, let's go.

• Picture Perfect Guy : Now, folks, I don't want to alarm you, but scientists say 40% of America's pictures are hanging crooked.

  [mortified gasps] 

  Picture Perfect Guy : Yeah, it's true. And I hear you asking, "Well who's gonna straighten out all these artistic abominations?" Your friends? A neighbor? Those fat cats in Washington?

  [chuckling] 

  Picture Perfect Guy : Good luck. Hey, you know, maybe no one'll notice. Maybe the problem will just fix itself.

  Marge Simpson : Now you're the one who's being naive.

  Picture Perfect Guy : Okay, fair enough. But you sound like you're ready to become your own boss in the exciting world of frame-nudging. Yes, for a minimal franchise fee, you'll receive a pair of straightening gloves, a canister of wall lubricant, and a booklet of the most commonly asked questions you will hear, including "Who are you?" and "What are you doing here?".