The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Twisted World of Marge Simpson (1997)

Jack Lemmon: Frank Ormand

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : Your franchise, how much?

  Frank Ormand : $500.

  Marge Simpson : I'll take it!

  Frank Ormand : Congratulations, and welcome to the dynamic world of mobile pretzel retailing.

  Marge Simpson : When can I start? What's my territory?

  Frank Ormand : Eh, territory... well... well, let me tell you: wherever a young mother is ignorant of what to feed her baby, you'll be there. Wherever nacho penetration is less than total, you'll be there. Wherever a Bavarian is not quite full, you will be there.

  Marge Simpson : Don't forget fat people. They can't stop eating.

  Homer Simpson : [spotting the cart]  Hey, pretzels!

• Marge Simpson : I'm not cut out for the world of business.

  Frank Ormand : Ooh, you sound like me. Well, the old me, which was, ironically, the young me. I was once like you were, young lady - like all these people - lost in a sea of flashy gimmicks and empty promises. Then God tossed me a life preserver; a tasty, golden brown life preserver. Here, try a pretzel.

  Marge Simpson : [taking a bite]  Mmm! Mm, that's not bad.

  Frank Ormand : Yeah, it's not only not bad, it's knot bread. Knot bread, you get it? Ha-ha. You see?

  Marge Simpson : [sharing a laugh]  I do!

• Frank Ormand : Hello, I'm Frank Ormand. And if you're watching me, that means you've got pretzel fever, and not the kind that attacked my intestinal lining some years back.

  [laughing] 

  Frank Ormand : So let's get your franchise up and running. Start by setting up an office in your basement or garage. An automatic garage door opener makes you feel like you're working in a futuristic wonderworld. Next, blanket your community with flyers. A phony ticker-tape parade will help you avoid littering laws.

  [in said parade, Homer drives down the street with Lisa in the back, wearing a makeshift astronaut helmet] 

  Chief Wiggum : [wiping a tear from his eye]  Welcome back, space girl.