[Burns learns about the stock market crash of 1929]
Mr. Burns: Oh no. Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash?
Smithers: Well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born.
Mr. Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything.
[Lisa and Mr. Burns are collecting cans at the beach]
Mr. Burns: You mean there are actually people who will pay good money for garbage?
Lisa: Not good money, really. Each can'll get you a nickel.
Mr. Burns: Ooh, don't poo-poo a nickel, Lisa. A nickel will buy you a steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel... with enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the polo grounds.
Lisa: [unimpressed] There's a can.
[a realtor is showing Bret Hart around Mr. Burns' mansion]
Bret "The Hitman" Hart: Eww. This place has got old man stink.
Mr. Burns: Ooh.
Waylon Smithers: Don't listen to him, sir. You've got an enchanting musk.
[looking at a corporate logo with Lisa's face]
Moe: It makes Little Debbie look like a pile of puke.
[Mr. Burns looks through a portfolio of his old stocks]
Mr. Burns: Hmm, let's see...?Confederated Slave holdings." How's that one holding up?
Blue Haired Lawyer: It's, uh, steady.
Mr. Burns: Oh, so mother nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys.