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"The Simpsons" The Old Man and the Lisa (TV Episode 1997) Poster

Quotes

[Burns learns about the stock market crash of 1929]

Mr. Burns: Oh no. Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash?

Smithers: Well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born.

Mr. Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything.

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[Lisa and Mr. Burns are collecting cans at the beach]

Mr. Burns: You mean there are actually people who will pay good money for garbage?

Lisa: Not good money, really. Each can'll get you a nickel.

Mr. Burns: Ooh, don't poo-poo a nickel, Lisa. A nickel will buy you a steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel... with enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the polo grounds.

Lisa: [unimpressed] There's a can.

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[a realtor is showing Bret Hart around Mr. Burns' mansion]

Bret "The Hitman" Hart: Eww. This place has got old man stink.

Mr. Burns: Ooh.

Waylon Smithers: Don't listen to him, sir. You've got an enchanting musk.

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[looking at a corporate logo with Lisa's face]

Moe: It makes Little Debbie look like a pile of puke.

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[Mr. Burns looks through a portfolio of his old stocks]

Mr. Burns: Hmm, let's see...?Confederated Slave holdings." How's that one holding up?

Blue Haired Lawyer: It's, uh, steady.

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Mr. Burns: Oh, so mother nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys.

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Mr. Burns: [to a group of senior citizens working for him] I'll take you to the biggest duck-filled pond you ever saw.

Grampa: Hot Diggity. That's how they got me to vote for Lyndon LaRouche.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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