The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Mansion Family (2000)
Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson
Quotes
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Marge Simpson : This all seems a little elaborate for sloppy joes. Hmm, I know what the other eleven forks are for, but what do you do with this one?
Homer Simpson : Why, Marge, I believe you're supposed to scratch your ass with it.
Marge Simpson : Homer, watch your lang...
[scratching her rear]
Marge Simpson : Ooh, that's a lifesaver!
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Homer Simpson : [leaving the Pride Awards and lugging a giant statue with him] Well, that was a great night for us all.
Marge Simpson : That's not an award. That's part of the set.
Homer Simpson : Nothing you can say will diminish this honor.
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Marge Simpson : Good lord! This bedroom is as big as our house!
Homer Simpson : And the bed never needs to be made. Check it out.
[pulling a lever, a trap door opens and the bed drops into a furnace; another trap door opens and a new bed replaces it]
Marge Simpson : Hmm. Seems a little wasteful.
Homer Simpson : Wasteful and practical.
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Homer Simpson : [at the Springfield Pride Awards] This is my year, Marge. Everyone knows I'm what makes this city great!
Marge Simpson : I don't know. There's a lot of buzz around Lenny.
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Kent Brockman : [after the town's oldest resident dies] Well, this award has to go to somebody. Would everyone who is 60 or older please stand up?
[Flanders, Mr. Burns, Grandpa Simpson, Jasper, Mrs. Glick, and the Old Jewish Man stand up]
Kent Brockman : Over 80?
[Flanders, Abe, and Mrs. Glick sit back down]
Kent Brockman : 90?
[the Old Jewish Man sits down, and Abe stands back up]
Kent Brockman : 100 years old?
[everyone but Mr. Burns sits down]
Marge Simpson : Homer, sit down!
Homer Simpson : [feigning old age] What's that, sonny?
[she sits him back down, and everyone cheers for Mr. Burns]
Mr. Burns : [heading on stage] Well, this is all so sudden.
[Britney leans in to kiss him]
Mr. Burns : Ah! Don't give me that kiss of death, you black widow!
Kent Brockman : [wrenching the statute out of Mr. Chapman's dead hands] Boy, he didn't want to let go of that.
[laughter]
Mr. Burns : Okay, let's see. I... I don't have a speech prepared, but, uh... abracadaver!
[taking the speech from Chapman's pocket]
Mr. Burns : "Thank you all so much. I love Springfield, from the cuddliest infant to..." puppies, patriotism... bluebirds. Pfft! I'm not reading this drivel. This speech is over.
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Marge Simpson : Stop that! Cigars are for rich people and legendary comedians like Bill Crosby and David Letterson
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Homer Simpson : Everyone gets an award but me.
Marge Simpson : I can't help it if I donated the most blood.
[suddenly getting dizzy]
Marge Simpson : Ooh, I'm feeling kinda woozy.
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Marge Simpson : I'm not gonna let you trash Mr. Burns' yacht.
Homer Simpson : Marge, you know I normally listen to you, but I gotta seize this opportunity, just in case I never become a real billionaire.
Marge Simpson : Oh, Homie, I don't care if you're a billionaire. I love you just because...
Lenny : Hey, there's another way to get on the boat!
Homer Simpson : Whoo-hoo!
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Marge Simpson : Homer, you've got to stop pretending this is your house. You're not a billionaire.
Homer Simpson : Jeez, way to burst my bubble, Marge.
Marge Simpson : All I'm saying is don't get too comfortable. Mr. Burns will be back tomorrow.
Homer Simpson : Marge, you're right. We *do* have to have a party.
Marge Simpson : Party? No! No parties.
Homer Simpson : What about partays?
Marge Simpson : No partays, no shindigs, no keggers, no hootenannies, no mixers, no raves, no box socials.
Homer Simpson : Damn!
[holding up a stack of invitations]
Homer Simpson : And I looked so good on that bike.
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Homer Simpson : [taking Mr. Burns' yacht for a party] Propellers... spinning! Turn... left! Boat go... there!
Lisa Simpson : [on the dock] Don't worry, Mom. I'm sure he'll be okay.
Marge Simpson : The boat's going sideways!
Homer Simpson : Chips ahoy!
[the boat bumps into a rocky outcropping and rights itself]
Homer Simpson : Well done, Mr. Lenny. Well done.
