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(TV Series)

(1999)

Quotes

[Homer is relaxing watching s 'Tuesday Morning Movie']

[TV character Jimmy rides off on his motorcycle]

Mother: Ooh, I don't know what's come over Jimmy. He won't do his homework, he only salutes the flag with one finger, and he comes home every night with other people's blood on his shirt...

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Homer Simpson: The first meeting of Hell's Satans is called to order.

Ned Flanders: I move to reconsider our club name. Make it something a little less blasphemous. After all

[chuckles]

Ned Flanders: , we don't wanna *go* to hell.

Lenny: How 'bout The Devil's Pals.

Ned Flanders: [nervously chuckles] Nuh-no... see...

Moe Szyslak: How about the Christ punchers?

Ned Flanders: The Chri...! I-I don't think you understand my objections.

Homer Simpson: I'm the president and the decision is mine. We're Hell's Satans. Besides, I already made our club jackets.

[Homer hold up a jacket with Hell's Satans imprinted on the back]

Lenny: Ooo, machine wash warm.

Carl: Tumble dry... Oooh lah lah.

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[Meathook punches eggs into a toaster]

Marge Simpson: Stop that! If you want some food, I'll be happy to make you some breakfast.

Meathook: I'd kill for some waffles!

Ramrod: He has... Remember that IHOP in Oakland?

[both guys laugh hysterically]

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Meathook: Alright Satans, we roll out at dawn.

Marge Simpson: Where are we going?

Meathook: To the Biker's Jamboree in South Dakota. You'll love it. Mickey Rourke is comin' and we're gonna jump him.

Marge Simpson: You know, there's more to life than boozing and roughhousing.

[entire gang looks around at each other, confused]

Marge Simpson: Haven't any of you had a dream?

Ramrod: Yeah, I had a dream! I was in this beautiful garden... pounding the crap out of a shopkeeper. Then...

Marge Simpson: Noo! I mean the dream of a good job, a loving family, and a home in the suburbs.

Meathook: Aww man, to get all that you'd have to kill live fifty people!

Marge Simpson: Noooo, you don't have to kill anyone! Not if you have jobs. And the first step is an eye-catching resume.

Ramrod: Nah, actually it's called résumé.

Meathook: Actually, both are acceptable.

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Attendant: Yeah, I did see some bikers drive by here with a blue-haired woman about ten minutes ago. Said they were gonna spend the night at that Crystal Lake camp ground. Section K, space 217. Yeah, I'm sorry I can't be of more help.

Homer Simpson: I guess I'll never find her.

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Marge Simpson: And when you get a job interview, try not to call your employer a punk or a skank.

Meathook: Makes sense.

Ramrod: Ooh, *don't* call him skank.

Meathook: Mrs. Simpson, I killed my pencil.

Marge Simpson: Broke. You *broke* your pencil.

Meathook: I... broke him.

Marge Simpson: That's right. And what else have we learned?

Ramrod: Oh oh, that violence is wrong.

Marge Simpson: Excellent, Ramrod. Civilized people solve their disputes with words.

[Homer jumps in screaming and punching]

Marge Simpson: Stop! You don't understand!

[Homer continues, attacking, punching, and throwing people]

Meathook: Marge, what do we do here? Marge, he's using violence.

Marge Simpson: Talk to him. Use your words.

Meathook: Homer... Homer... stop. We've given up our violent ways. We just wanna live peacefully... with your wife.

Homer Simpson: No! My wife is not a dooby... to be passed around! I took a sacred vow on my wedding day to bogart her forever.

Marge Simpson: Oooooh, Homey.

Meathook: There's only one reasonable way to settle this... you and me, in the circle of death.

Marge Simpson: Ooooh, I just swept the circle of death.

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Homer Simpson: My wife is not a doobie, to be passed around from person to person! I made a sacred vow, on my wedding day, to bogart her for the rest of my life.

Meathook: There's only one way to settle this: you and me, in the Circle of Death.

Marge Simpson: Oh, I just swept the Circle of Death.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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