The Simpsons (TV Series)
Stark Raving Dad (1991)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Krusty the Clown, Confused Worker, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Bill, Mayor Quimby
Photos
Quotes
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Homer : Who are you?
Leon Kompowsky : [in Michael Jackson's voice] Hi, I'm Michael Jackson from The Jacksons.
Homer : I'm Homer Simpson, from The Simpsons.
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Leon Kompowsky : We call this one the Chief. He's been here since 1968. Never says a word. Never moves a muscle.
Homer Simpson : [waves] Hey, Chief.
Chief : [waves back] Hello.
[all the doctors gather around muttering and writing notes]
Chief : Well, it's about time somebody reached out to me!
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[Homer is calling home from a mental institution]
Bart : Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em.
Homer : Boy, when I get home, I'm gonna wrap my hands around your neck and...
[noticing the orderlies glaring at him, he relents]
Homer : ...smother you with kisses.
Bart : Homer, whatever they've got you on, cut the dose.
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Homer Simpson : Who stole my shirt? Who stole my shirt?
Marge : I washed it.
Homer Simpson : Oh, thank you Marge.
[Homer saw his pink shirt from the laundry basket]
Homer Simpson : Aaaah! Pink? Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different.
Marge : Now Homer don't panic, you have plenty of white shirts.
Homer Simpson : [Homer grabs all of his pink shirts] Oh gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, oh no pink? pink? Pink!
[Homer sobs]
Homer Simpson : It's all over, Marge! It's all over!
[Homer continues to sob]
Marge : [Marge grabs Homer's pink underwear] I don't know how this could have happened?
Bart : [Bart grabs his red hat] Ah, my lucky red hat. Clean as a whistle.
Homer Simpson : [Homer saw Bart and his red hat from Homer's pink shirts] You! You did this to me!
Bart : [Bart getting strangled by Homer] I... apologize!
Marge : Oh, please. No one's going to notice if you wear a pink shirt to work.
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Homer : [yells after being shown an inkblot that looks like Bart] The boy!
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Homer Simpson : [after Leon moonwalks] How do you do that thing with your feet?
Leon Kompowsky : You mean the moonwalk?
Homer Simpson : No! That thing with your feet!
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Homer Simpson : [trying to scrub off hand stamp that reads "insane"] Come off! I'm sane now!
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Bart : [Homer gives a mental health questionnaire he's supposed to complete to Bart] Dad, maybe you should fill out this form.
Homer : Son, it's no different than the time I let you vote for me. Remember that absentee ballot?
Bart : Oh, yeah!
[Homer quickly gets absorbed in a "funniest home videos" show on the TV]
Bart : Hey, Dad, do you hear voices...?
Homer : [annoyed] Yes, I'm hearing one now, while I'm trying to watch TV!
Bart : [checks] "Yes." Are you quick to anger...?
Homer : [angrily and raises his fist] BART! Shut up or I'll shut you up!
Bart : [checks] "Yes." Do you wet your pants...? Well, even the best of us has an occasional accident.
[he proceeds to check "yes" for all remaining questions]
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[after Homer handed his mental health questionnaire to Mr. Burns and Smithers]
Homer : So did I pass?
Montgomery Burns : [laughing] No.
Homer : [security guards grabbed Homer] Bart!
Waylon Smithers : Careful, men. He wets his pants.
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Doctor : After analyzing your husband, we have determined that he's not a danger to anyone.
Homer Simpson : That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. Can I have it in writing?
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Dave : Okay so I was working an insurance company right
[sniffles]
Dave : youngest VP in the history of the firm, okay the job was my life
[sniffles]
Dave : then one Monday morning
[clears throat]
Dave : I got up I couldn't leave the house, I just couldn't
Homer : Was the door locked?
Dave : No, I just couldn't face what was out there
Homer : Was it raining?
Nurse : No Homer, Dave suffers from agoraphobia: a fear of open areas and crowds, please Dave go on
Dave : Thank you, anyway that day I, I just couldn't make that long drive to work
Homer : Were you out of gas?
[the nurse glares angrily at Homer]
Homer : [turns toward Dave] Pfft baby!
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Leon Kompowsky : [In his real voice] Well, my work is done here.
Bart : Hey, Michael, what happened to your voice?
Leon Kompowsky : This is my real voice. My name is Leon Kompowski, and I'm a bricklayer from Paterson, New Jersey. All my life, I was very angry. Until one day, I just
[In Michael Jackson voice]
Leon Kompowsky : talked like this.
[in his normal voice]
Leon Kompowsky : All of a sudden, everyone was smiling at me, and I was only doing good on this earth. So I kept on doing it. To make a tired point, which one of us is truly crazy?
Homer : Not me, I've got this!
[shows his certificate showing he is Not Insane]
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Mayor Quimby : This is the uh most exciting thing to happen to our uh fair town since the Dalai Lama visited in 1952. And so, I hereby declare that Route 401, currently known as the Dalai Lama Expressway, will be henceforth be known as the Michael Jackson Expressway.
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Homer : Lisa, you like homework. Would you fill out this form for me?
Lisa Simpson : Well, all right - if you listen to the poem I just wrote.
Homer : D'oh...! Uh, okay.
Lisa Simpson : "Meditations on Turning Eight," by Lisa Simpson. "I had a cat named Snowball, she died, she died! Mom said she was sleeping, she lied, she lied! Why, oh why is my cat dead? Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead? I had a hamster named Snuffy, he died!"
[that's all she wrote, literally]
Homer : No deal.