The Simpsons (TV Series)

Saddlesore Galactica (2000)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Jockey #5

Quotes 

• Bart Simpson : Who are those guys?

  Homer Simpson : That's BTO. They were Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB. That was how we talked in the seventies. We didn't have a moment to spare.

• Homer : I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky and the Pope combined.

• Comic Book Guy : Excuse me, but I believe this family already had a horse, and the expense forced Homer to work at the Kwik-E-Mart, with hilarious consequences...

  Homer Simpson : [long pause]  Does anybody care what this guy thinks?

  Crowd at carnival : NO!

• [Bart and Homer are about to race their horse] 

  Homer : Don't worry. I've seen enough of the "Horse Whisperer" to know how to win a race.

  Homer : [whispers to horse]  When you're on the race track, run really fast.

• Homer Simpson : [whispering to Dunkin]  When the race starts, run really fast!

• Homer : Vietnam veteran.

  Ticket Guy : Do you have a military ID?

  Homer : ID? Man, Charlie didn't ask for ID when I fought at La Choy and Chun King! I saw my best friend's head explode at Margaret Cho!

  Marge : Homer, give him the 50 cents.

  Homer : Why should I? Did my country give me a parade? No, man. They spat at me...

  Ticket Guy : Just go.

  Homer : Thank you. This closes the saddest chapter in American history.

• Homer Simpson : [on what to do about the jockies]  Son, go get me a trash bag.

• Homer Simpson : Hey, where do you get those metal dealies for his feet?

  Jockey #1 : ...You mean horse shoes?

  Homer Simpson : Hey what's with the attitude, I just want some dealies!

• Homer Simpson : All those other horses will be shaking in their horse-dealies!