- L.T Smash: [while watching the boy band perform with Principal Skinner] Man, they're gonna be big, and you stood in their way.
- Principal Skinner: No, I didn't. I even came in early and made orange drink.
- L.T Smash: Orange drink? What, do you live with your mama?
- Principal Skinner: She lives with me.
- Nelson: I can't sing without dancing.
- J.C. Chasez, Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick: Fine. Thrust, spin, turn, pivot, pout, jiggy, jiggy, robot, dosido, and close with a Matrix.
- Nelson: Nobody pouts going into a jiggy.
- Milhouse: Yeah, that's stupid.
- Ralph: I want to twirl.
- MAD Writer: [the writers of MAD Magazine are in conference] Why don't we call it "Everybody Hates Raymond"?
- [Everyone laughs]
- MAD Chairman: Well, we stayed up all night, but it was worth it.
- Homer Simpson: [singing along to Bart's music video] Yvan eht nioj. You gotta love that crazy chorus.
- Lisa Simpson: What does it mean?
- Homer Simpson: Eh, it doesn't mean anything. It's like "rama-lama-ding-dong" or "give peace a chance."
- Lisa Simpson: Yvan eht nioj. They keep saying that. Wait, what was that?
- [rewinding and seeing an Uncle Sam recruitment poster]
- Lisa Simpson: Uncle Sam? Let me play this backwards.
- [doing so, she realizes they're saying "join the navy"]
- Lisa Simpson: They're recruiting people with subliminal messages!
- [hearing a honk, she looks out the window to see Otto boarding a bus]
- Lisa Simpson: Otto, what are you doing?
- Otto: I don't know. I just got an urge to join the Navy.
- Lisa Simpson: You're being brainwashed!
- Otto: Yeah, probably. Yvan eht nioj!
- Justin Timberlake: You know, we've had a lot of fun tonight at the expense of the U.S. Navy.
- James Lance Bass: But they're out there every day protecting us from Godzilla.
- J.C. Chasez: And don't forget pirates.
- Chris Kirkpatrick: And jellyfish.
- James Lance Bass: Those whack invertebrates will sting you, old school!
- Justin Timberlake: So check out the Navy for a two or a four-year hitch.
- James Lance Bass: We signed J.C. up yesterday.
- J.C. Chasez: What?
- [two shore policeman drag him away]
- J.C. Chasez: No-o-o!
- Homer Simpson: Marge, after a lot of thought, I've decided to run the Springfield marathon.
- Marge Simpson: Oh, please. You get exhausted watching "The Twilight Zone" marathon.
- [laughs]
- Marge Simpson: I'm a regular Billy Crystal!
- Bart Simpson: You got that right.
- Lisa Simpson: Well, dad, I think running's good exercise. It adds years to your life.
- Homer Simpson: Stay out of this, Lisa.
- Marge Simpson: [When L.T. Smash wants Bart to join his boy band] Now hold on. I have some concerns.
- Bart Simpson: Please, Mom. My dream is to be a rock star!
- Homer Simpson: And my dream is to get rid of Bart.
- Marge Simpson: But...
- Homer Simpson: How many lives must you ruin?
- Marge Simpson: Oh, okay.
- Lisa Simpson: [to L.T. Smash] But you have recruiting ads on TV. Why do you need subliminal messages?
- L.T Smash: It's a three-pronged attack: subliminal, liminal, and super liminal.
- Lisa Simpson: Super liminal?
- L.T Smash: I'll show you.
- [shouts out the window to Lenny and Carl]
- L.T Smash: Hey, you! Join the Navy!
- Carl: Uh, yeah, all right.
- Lenny: I'm in.
- Homer Simpson: [to Bart] So, what songs did I miss?
- Bart Simpson: Dad, L.T.'s gone crazy!
- [L.T. is shown laughing sinisterly]
- Homer Simpson: Yeah. That's the look.
- Marge Simpson: [watching the marathon] Hey, Grandpa's running!
- Lisa Simpson: That's not Grandpa. Dad's just dehydrated.
- Admiral: The new administration is shutting down Project Boy Band.
- Smash: Shutting it down? Permission to say that's crazy, sir?
- Admiral: You won't say it's crazy when you see next week's issue of MAD magazine.
- Smash: [seeing the boys in a toilet bowl being flushed by Alfred E. Nueman with the tagline "We Flush the Potty Posse"] Oh, dear God.
- Admiral: When this satirical bombshell hits the stands tomorrow, your band will have as much recruiting power as a wax apple.
- Lisa Simpson: How could you soil the good name of Star Blitzzz Promotions?
- Smash: Oh, come on, Lisa. We've always used pop stars to recruit people, going back to Elvis. Then there was "Sgt. Pepper's," the Captain & Tennile, and the KISS Army.
- Smash: Bart, I want you to meet and greet the other members of the Party Posse. He's smart, he's soulful, he's Milhouse!
- Milhouse Van Houten: What up, G Money?
- Smash: Next, he'll break your nose, your glasses, and your heart, Nelson.
- Bart Simpson: Wait, these are just guys from school. Who's next, Ralph Wiggum?
- Ralph Wiggum: [spinning in his chair] Whee! I'm a pop sensation.
- Lisa Simpson: Mom, can't Bart get his massage somewhere else?
- Marge Simpson: Don't be selfish, Lisa.
- Homer Simpson: Will you two shut up? I'm missing precious VJ prattle.
- Bart Simpson: [after L.T. goes crazy] Do you think he's gonna do something dangerous?
- Nelson Muntz: How should I know? Just keep loading missiles.
- Ralph Wiggum: Pop music's hard work.
- Comic Book Guy: No one can outrun the Flash.
- [getting stuck in an open manhole]
- Comic Book Guy: Curses. One of my super-foes has set a trap for me.
- Nelson Muntz: What brings you to Springfield?
- J.C. Chasez: We saw your band formation notice in the paper.
- Bart Simpson: Really? You saw our BFN?
- Justin Timberlake: I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse. Word.
- [they high-five]
- Chris Kirkpatrick: So, anyway, we brought you this wicked gift basket.
- J.C. Chasez: Stubble glitter, a crowd taser...
- Bart Simpson: Crowd taser?
- J.C. Chasez: Yeah, it's perfect for getting through the fans to your limousine.
- Joey Fatone: [getting zapped by Justin] Yo!
- Lance Bass: [his watch beeps] Dudes, we gotta go. Our clothes are getting a little out of date.
- Bart Simpson: Hello, Springfield! Now here's a song that your Principal Skinner doesn't want us to play.
- Principal Skinner: [the students boo] That's not true! This assembly was my idea. I like your brand of inoffensive pop rock.
- Bart Simpson: Who are you?
- Smash: Oh, you'll find out in due time.
- Bart Simpson: [seeing the placard on the rear-view mirror] Well, it says here your name is L.T. Smash.
- Smash: The time has come. I'm L.T. Smash.
- Homer Simpson: Wait a minute. Bart's band is brainwashing kids with subliminal messages? That's pretty far-fetched, Lisa.
- Marge Simpson: Are you sure someone hasn't been bitten by the jealousy bug?
- Homer Simpson: [trying to be playful] Here comes the jealousy bug! Gonna get you!
- Lisa Simpson: Hey!
- Homer Simpson: Gonna get you!
- Lisa Simpson: Hey! Cut it out. You're a grown man.
- Homer Simpson: [with a gasp, he starts to pout] I wanna go home now.
- Marge Simpson: Nobody's going home. We're going to see Bart's concert.
- Lisa Simpson: An aircraft carrier? Oh, that's subtle.
- Homer Simpson: I can't believe it! I'm actually running a marathon!
- [clutching his chest]
- Homer Simpson: Aghh! Oh, I hit the wall! This is so painful!
- [feeling okay]
- Homer Simpson: Hey, I got my second wind!
- [clutching his chest again]
- Homer Simpson: D'oh, another wall!
- [feeling okay]
- Homer Simpson: Whoo hoo! Third wind!
- Smash: Well, boys, the Party Posse is over, but at least I saved you from a public spoofing.
- Bart Simpson: [the MAD cover flutters to the ground] Aw, man! We could have been on the cover of MAD.
- Nelson Muntz: They called me "Smelson." Haw-hah!
- Homer Simpson: [laughing with the boys] Smelson. It's funny 'cause you smell.
- Smash: Okay, your tunes are fly, and your threads are dope. All that's left is the singing.
- Bart Simpson: [reading the lyrics] "Party Posse, we rule the earth. The greatest band since music's birth"?
- Nelson Muntz: Isn't this song a little boastful?
- Milhouse Van Houten: No one told me there was gonna be boasting.
- Choreographer: Sneer, sneer. Two, three, four, and thrust, and grab yourself right there.
- [grabbing his crotch]
- Choreographer: Now let go and flirt.
- [seeing Ralph's blank look]
- Choreographer: You call that a flirt? I'm not melting!
- Kent Brockman: [running commentary on the marathon] Well, hold the phone, Dora. A new challenger has emerged out of nowhere. He's running on sheer pluck, moxie, and grit, all of which he'll be tested for after the race.
- Bart Simpson: [cheating to win the Springfield Marathon] Grazie, Springfield!
- [a crow steals his fake mustache]
- Runner #1: He's a phony!
- Runner #2: Lousy cheater!
- Sideshow Mel: I demand a re-race!
- Moe Szyslak: I got a better idea. Let's have a fun run on his trachea.
- Lisa Simpson: You got all your equipment, dad?
- Homer Simpson: Let's see. Sweat bands... check. Anti-chafing nipple tape... check, check, and check.
- Montgomery Burns: Faster, rickshaw driver, faster!
- Waylon Smithers: Ow! Sir, the whip isn't helping.
- Montgomery Burns: Silence! You call yourself Chinese?
- Marge Simpson: [to L.T. Smash] Thank you so much for saving our son from that murderous mob.
- L.T Smash: Well, thank you for letting me chill in your crib.
- Homer Simpson: And thank you for assuming we're hip.