Quotes
Krusty the Clown: Uh, just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up any youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?
Mr. Burns: Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?
Krusty the Clown: A Russian hooker. You tell me.
Mr. Burns: Oh, no problem. We'll say you were on a fact-finding mission.
Krusty the Clown: I did find out one fact. She was a guy.
Share thisMarge Simpson: Krusty! We came to see how many campaign promises you've kept.
Krusty the Clown: Uh, let's see... did I promise to be a slave to big oil?
Marge Simpson: No.
Krusty the Clown: Well, then none.
Share thisKent Brockman: -When trying to convince the TV audience that it really is a live broadcast- How can I prove to you we're live? Penis!
Share thisCletus: He really speaks to me, the average Joe six-tooth.
Cletus's Wife: When did you get another tooth?
Cletus: The sidewalk.
Share thisKrusty the Clown: Uh, just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up any youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?
Mr. Burns: Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?
Krusty the Clown: A Russian hooker, you tell me.
Mr. Burns: Oh, no problem. We'll say you were on a fact-finding mission.
Krusty the Clown: I did find out one fact. She was a guy.
Share thisElderly Congressman: Why, this news make my blood boil, my left arm feel numb, my mouth taste of copper! Arrgggh!
[congressman collapses]
Marge: He's had a heart-attack! Quick someone do CPR!
Homer Simpson: [singing] I see a bad moon rising.
Marge: No that's CCR!
Homer Simpson: Errr...
[singing]
Homer Simpson: Looks like we're in for nasty weather.
Share thisKent Brockman: [Doing a live newscast] How can I prove that we're live? Penis.
Share this[the Simpsons' drywall collapses and Maggie crawls out of it]
Homer: [in baby talk] Maggie. That's where you were, honey. You were hiding in the drywall, yes you were. Daddy's sure happy Social Services didn't see this, yes he is.
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