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Krusty the Clown: Uh, just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up any youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?

Mr. Burns: Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?

Krusty the Clown: A Russian hooker. You tell me.

Mr. Burns: Oh, no problem. We'll say you were on a fact-finding mission.

Krusty the Clown: I did find out one fact. She was a guy.

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Marge Simpson: Krusty! We came to see how many campaign promises you've kept.

Krusty the Clown: Uh, let's see... did I promise to be a slave to big oil?

Marge Simpson: No.

Krusty the Clown: Well, then none.

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Kent Brockman: -When trying to convince the TV audience that it really is a live broadcast- How can I prove to you we're live? Penis!

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Cletus: He really speaks to me, the average Joe six-tooth.

Cletus's Wife: When did you get another tooth?

Cletus: The sidewalk.

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Krusty the Clown: Uh, just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up any youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?

Mr. Burns: Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?

Krusty the Clown: A Russian hooker, you tell me.

Mr. Burns: Oh, no problem. We'll say you were on a fact-finding mission.

Krusty the Clown: I did find out one fact. She was a guy.

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Elderly Congressman: Why, this news make my blood boil, my left arm feel numb, my mouth taste of copper! Arrgggh!

[congressman collapses]

Marge: He's had a heart-attack! Quick someone do CPR!

Homer Simpson: [singing] I see a bad moon rising.

Marge: No that's CCR!

Homer Simpson: Errr...

[singing]

Homer Simpson: Looks like we're in for nasty weather.

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Kent Brockman: [Doing a live newscast] How can I prove that we're live? Penis.

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[the Simpsons' drywall collapses and Maggie crawls out of it]

Homer: [in baby talk] Maggie. That's where you were, honey. You were hiding in the drywall, yes you were. Daddy's sure happy Social Services didn't see this, yes he is.

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[Homer bursts into Congress, drunk]

Homer: You call this a bicameral legislature?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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