Total Disaster Insurance Man: Now this place you were at, Moe's, is this a business of some sort?
Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar. But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: Heh, heh, heh. I would never have thought of that.
Homer: [singing] Call Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is Mr. Plow.
Linda Ronstadt: [singing] When the snow is a fallin theres a man you should be callin. That's KLD-796. Let it ring.
Homer: [answers the phone] Mr. Plow, that name again is Mr. Plow.
Kumatsu Motors Man: Hello, I'm calling from Delinquent Accounts at Kumatsu Motors.
Homer: Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow, you know, from "Leave It To Beaver".
Homer: Yeah, they were gay.
Homer: Now, we play the waiting game.
Homer: Ahh, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!
Adam West: [to Homer and Bart, regarding newer Batman movies] I never needed plastic molding to improve my physique.
Adam West: Pure West.
Homer: It may be on a lousy channel, but the Simpsons are on TV!
Homer: Lenny and Carl suck. Oh, don't tell them I said that Marge, because if I ever lost them as friends...
Homer: If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things.
Barney: [to Adam West] So long, Superman. Your secret identity is safe with me.
Homer: There's a $10,000 bill in it for you.
Barney: Oh yeah? Which president is on it?
Homer: Um, all of them. They are having a party. Jimmy Carter is passed out on the couch.