Marge: Bart's such a handful, and Maggie needs attention, but all the while, our little Lisa's becoming a young woman.
Homer: Oh, so that's it, this is some kind of underwear thing.
Marge Simpson: It doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. It's what shows up on the outside that counts. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down past your knees, until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you. And happiness will follow.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: The blues isn't about feeling better. It's about making other people feel WORSE, and making a few bucks while you're at it.
Bart Simpson: I didn't do it. No one saw me do it. You can't prove anything.
Marge Simpson: Lisa, I apologize to you, I was wrong! I take it all back. Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We'll ride it out with you. And when you get finished feeling sad, we'll still be there. From now on, let me do the smiling for both of us.
Lisa: [smiles] Okay, Mom.
Marge Simpson: I said you could stop smiling, Lisa.
Lisa: I *feel* like smiling.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: My friends call me Bleeding Gums.
Lisa: Eww, how'd you get a name like that?
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Well, let me put it this way. You ever been to the dentist?
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Not me. I suppose I should go to one. But I've got enough pain in my life as it is.
Lisa: I'm wailing out for the homeless family living out of its car. The Iowa farmer, whose land has been taken away by unfeeling bureaucrats. The West Virginia coal miner, coughing...
Mr. Largo: Well, that's all fine and good, but Lisa, none of those unpleasant people are going to be at the recital next week.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: You know, you play pretty well for someone with no real problems.
Marge Simpson: Lisa, get away from that jazzman! Nothing personal, I just fear the unfamiliar.