The Simpsons (TV Series)

Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (1997)

Harry Shearer: Jasper, Dr. Hibbert, Kent Brockman, Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner

Quotes 

• Kent Brockman : Folks, any words for the Christmas thief, *if* he's watching?

  Homer Simpson : Eh... yes... Kent. Uh hello, jerk. We may never find you and we should probably all.. stop looking. But one thing's for sure... you do exist.

  Kent Brockman : [turns to camera]  Strong words. Strong, bewildering words!

• [Homer and his Simpson family enters Krusty Burger, but only to see a massive line of Springfielders] 

  Homer Simpson : [as two customers starts to stare at the family]  Oh, no. Look at the line.

  Moe Szyslak : [from the near head of the first line; starts staring while pointing]  Oh, there they are!

  Chief Wiggum : [as more Springfielders start staring at the family, Wiggum is at the near head of the third line]  Ahh, it's the Swindlers.

  Principal Skinner : [exiting the restaurant from the head of the first line]  The Simpsons.

  Moe Szyslak : [exiting]  Ahh, them stinking liers.

  Ned Flanders : [exiting from the bottom of the second line]  Well, there goes Christmas dinner.

  Edna Krabappel : [exiting from out of nowhere in the line; chuckles]  Ha!

  Homer Simpson : [the lines are now empty; sigh as the family approaches the middle Cashier]  Aw-www. Head of the line. A family could get used to being shunned. Huh, huh?

• [Channel 6 News Report; As Homer, Barney & Moe views on TV at Moe's] 

  Kent Brockman : [Outside the Simpson's house]  "Dateline", Kent Brockman. I'm here at the scene of the Christmas burglary, where a creature 'was' staring last night and what he was 'stirring' was, up, trouble.

  Kent Brockman : [Interviewing Marge, holding Maggie, aside from Bart & Lisa]  Is your husband or lover here, Mam?

  Marge Simpson : No. My husband is... at church.

  Homer Simpson : [at Moe's]  Aww. That's my girl. I love you, Marjorie.

  Moe Szyslak : Yeah. She's quite a gal.

  Homer Simpson : You, shut up!

  Kent Brockman : So, when you realized Christmas was ruined... how did you feel?

  Marge Simpson : How do you think I felt?

  Kent Brockman : [to Marge]  Absolutely devastated.

  Kent Brockman : [to audience]  "Absolutely devastated", the words of a heartbroken mother.

  Kent Brockman : [as he very briefly pats Bart's forehead at one point]  There will be no fire truck for little Bart; No sweater for little Lisa; No Cajun sausage for little Homer.

  Homer Simpson : [still at Moe's; moans]  O-oooo-oooo-oh.

  Kent Brockman : [to audience]  So, while you're home today, eating your sweet, sweet holiday turkey... I hope you'll all choke, just a little bit.