Maggie Simpson: Daddy.
Marge: Oh Maggie, when are you going to talk?
Lisa Simpson: Well, don't push her. Remember, it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Homer: [thinking] What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
[outloud]
Homer: Takes one to know one.
[thinking]
Homer: Swish!
Bart: Can't sleep, clown will eat me!
Krusty the Clown: [on TV, smoking and crying] You people are pigs! I, personally, am going to spit in every fiftieth burger!
Homer: [watching] I like those odds.
Marge: I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger place.
Homer: No, we won't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.
Grandma Flanders: Hello, Joe!
Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
Patty: The older they get, the cuter they ain't. Aww, look. The baby just spit up.
Marge: We saved the newspaper from the day Lisa was born.
Lisa Simpson: [reading] Mondale to Hart: Where's the beef.
Bart: Where's the beef? What the hell does that mean?
Homer: [laughing] Where's the beef. No wonder he won Minnesota.
Krusty the Clown: Krustyburger is the meat flavored sandwhich of the 1984 Olympics. Just scratch the game space on your card and if the US wins a gold medal you get a free Krustyburger... Mmm mmm mmm!
[Director yells "CUT"]
Krusty the Clown: BLECH! Oh I almost swallowed some of the juice.
[Produces a flask and rinses his mouth and spits]
Krusty the Clown: Ugh, I'll be tasting that for weeks.
Krusty's Accountant: Great spot, K.C.!
Krusty the Clown: Put a sock in it, preppy! How much are these free burgers going to cost me?
Krusty's Accountant: Not to worry, Mr. K. We rigged the cards. They're all in events the communists never lose.
Krusty the Clown: I like, I like!
Krusty's Asistant: This just came over the wires, Big K!
Krusty the Clown: [reading] Soviet boycott... U.S. unopposed in most events... how does this affect our giveaway?
Krusty's Accountant: Let's see...
[punches up the numbers]
Krusty's Accountant: You personally stand to lose 44 million dollars.
Krusty the Clown: [cries loudly] Oy!
