- Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
- Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
- Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
- Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
- Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
- Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
- Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
- Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
- Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
- Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
- Homer: Bart, go to your room.
- Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
- Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you! You barbeque-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
- Lisa: That's IT! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore. I am out of here!
- [leaves and slams the door]
- Homer: That's it! Go to your room!
- [Homer and Bart are chasing the rolling rotisserie pig. It rolls through some bushes]
- Homer: It's just a little dirty! It's still good, it's still good!
- [the cart falls off the edge of a drainage culvert, and the pig floats down the stream]
- Homer: It's just a little slimy! It's still good, it's still good!
- [the pig reaches a dam at the end of the stream and plugs the drain hole. The water pressure builds up behind it, until it launches out of the hole into the air]
- Homer: It's just a little airborne! It's still good, it's still good!
- Bart: It's gone.
- Homer: I know.
- [Homer fills the grill with lighter fluid and prepares to grill]
- Lisa: Wait Dad! Good news, everyone! You don't have to eat meat! I've got enough gazpacho for everyone.
- [Crowd murmurs]
- Lisa: It's tomato soup, served ice cold!
- [Crowd laughs out loud as Lisa growls and stomps off]
- Barney Gumble: Go back to Russia!
- Homer: Lisa! Lisa! Come back before everyone finds out what a horrible father I am.
- Lisa: Hi dad. Looking for me?
- Homer: I don't know. You looking for me?
- Lisa: I don't know.
- Homer: Ohhhh. Lisa. I was looking for you. I wanted to apologize. I don't know exactly what went wrong but it's always my fault.
- Lisa: Actually Dad, this time, I was wrong...
- Homer: Oooh!
- Lisa: ...too.
- Homer: Ohh.
- Lisa: While I was gone I got some really good advice from Paul and Linda McCartney.
- Homer: Rock stars. Is there anything they don't know?
- Lisa: I still stand by my beliefs. But I can't defend what I did. I'm sorry I messed up your barbeque.
- Homer: I understand honey. I used to believe in things when I was a kid. Come on, I'll give you a piggyback... I mean a veggieback ride home.
- Lisa: I never realized before, but some Itchy & Scratchy cartoons send the message that violence against animals is funny.
- Bart: They what? Cartoons don't have messages, Lisa.
- [moves toward door]
- Bart: They're just a bunch of hilarious stuff you know, like people getting hurt and stuff, stuff like that.
- [Bart gets slammed behind the door by Homer]
- Homer: Look kids! I just got my party invitiations back from the printers.
- Lisa: [reading the invitation] "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."
- Bart: What's that extra B for?
- Homer: It's a typo.
- Lisa: Dad! Can't you have some other type of party, one where you don't serve meat?
- Homer: All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
- Bart: [musically] You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!
- Bart, Homer: You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!
- Bart, Homer, Marge: You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!
- Lisa: Mom!
- Marge: I don't mean to take sides, I just got caught up in the rhythm.
- Principal Skinner: Uh oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie! Remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.
- Groundskeeper Willie: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself.
- [Homer is scanning the sky with binoculars, looking for his pig]
- Bart: Give it up, Dad. Piggy ain't coming back.
- [Homer growls and throws the binoculars into the garbage]
- Homer: Lisa! You ruined my barbeque! I demand you apologize this second!
- Lisa: I'm never ever apologizing because I was standing up for a just cause and you were wrong, wrong, wrong! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to my room!
- Homer: That's it! Go to your room!
- [Lisa's been sent to her room and Homer flips a burger way to high]
- Lisa: It's bad enough they're eating meat. They don't have to throw it in my face.
- [Homer's burger lands on Lisa's face]
- Apu: And Paul here wrote a song called "Live and Let Live".
- Paul McCartney: Actually Apu, it was "Live and Let Die".
- Apu: Whatever, it had a good rhythm.
- [educational film: "The Meat Council Presents... Meat and You: Partners in Freedom. Number 3F03 in the 'Resistance is Useless' series."]
- Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".
- Lisa: When will all those fools learn that you can be perfectly healthy simply eating vegetables, fruits, grains and cheese.
- Apu: Oh, cheese!
- Lisa: You don't eat cheese, Apu
- Apu: No I don't eat any food that comes from an animal.
- Lisa: Ohh, then you must think I'm a monster!
- Apu: Yes indeed I do think that. But, I learned long ago Lisa to tolerate others rather than forcing my beliefs on them. You know you can influence people without badgering them always.
- Troy McClure: Don't kid youreself jimmy if a cow ever got the chance, it would eat you and everyone you care about.