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(TV Series)

(1997)

Quotes

Homer Simpson: Oh no, this can't be happening. What the hell are we going to do with ten thousand angel ash-trays?

Bart Simpson: I could take up smoking.

Homer Simpson: You damn well better.

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Principal Skinner: [over intercom] Attention. All honor roll students will be rewarded by a trip to an archaeological dig. Also, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archaeological dig.

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[Speaking about the skeleton she found]

Lisa: It could be a mutant from the power plant.

Mr. Burns: That's preposterous, everyone knows our mutants have flippers - oops, I've said too much. Smithers, get the amnesia ray.

Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?

Mr. Burns: Yes, and be sure to wipe your mind clear when you're done as well.

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Lisa: If you believe in angels then why not unicorns or leprechauns?

Kent Brockman: Oh Lisa everyone knows leprechauns are extinct.

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Homer Simpson: [singing] Here's the angel, see the angel, it's my angel, no-one elses,next to the rakes!

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Moe: Go home, science girl.

Lisa: I am home.

Moe: Good, then stay there.

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Moe Szyslak: Lisa's right, it's an angel!

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Kent Brockman: [Over the TV] Coming up next, an hilarious boat give-a-way scam, that's Springfield's Dumbest Criminals!

Homer Simpson: [laughs] Sounds like good watching.

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[Discussing Science versus Religion]

Ned Flanders: Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends. Well, I say there are some things we don't want to know. Important things.

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Homer Simpson: [gasp] Billy Beer!

[drinks it]

Homer Simpson: Ahh, we elected the wrong Carter.

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Moe Szyslak: [after being crushed by a Mastodon tusk] Oh I'm paralyzed. I just hope medical science can cure me.

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Ned Flanders: Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends.

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Lisa: I don't understand, Professor, why didn't your test show that the skeleton was a fake?

Stephen Jay Gould: I'm going to be honest with you, Lisa, I never did the test.

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[after the angel hoax is exposed]

Homer: What the hell are we going to do with 10,000 angel ashtrays?

Bart: I could take up smoking.

Homer: You damn well better.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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