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"The Simpsons" Krusty Gets Kancelled (TV Episode 1993) Poster

(TV Series)

(1993)

Quotes

[Krusty is trying to talk Sideshow Mel into quitting his job a fast-food joint]

Krusty the Clown: But you gotta come back, Mel! We're a team!

Sideshow Mel: No, Krusty, you always treated me rather shabbily. On our last show, you poured liquid nitrogen down my pants, and cracked my buttocks with a hammer!

Krusty the Clown: Ah, come on. You wanna spend your life hanging out with a bunch of dorky teenagers?

Squeaky Voiced Teen: Here's your taco, Mister. Whoops. It fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow! Ow! Ow-w-w! Ow-w-w!

Sideshow Mel: Sorry Krusty, I like it here. Mr. Johansen treats me with dignity.

Mr Johannson: Is this clown bothering you, Mel?

Sideshow Mel: It's all right, Mr. Johansen, I'll handle it.

Squeaky Voiced Teen: Here's your taco, sir.

Krusty the Clown: I don't want it!

Squeaky Voiced Teen: But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she'd kill me.

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[the Red Hot Chili Peppers are performing on Krusty's show]

Krusty the Clown: Now, boys, the network has a problem with some of your lyrics. Do you mind changing them for the show?

Anthony Kiedis: Forget you, clown.

Chad Smith: Yeah, our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.

Krusty the Clown: Well, okay, but here where it says, "What I got you gotta get and put it in ya," how about just, "What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss ya."

Flea: Wow. That's much better.

Arik Marshall: Everyone can enjoy that.

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[the Red Hot Chili Peppers walk into Moe's bar in their underwear]

Anthony Kiedis: What's up, Moe.

Flea: HEY MOE!

Moe Szyslak: Hey! You guys can't come in here dressed like that!

Dr. Julius Hibbert: [In his underwear] Get with the time, Moe.

Chief Wiggum: [In his underwear] Yeah, I say if it feels good, do it.

Dr. Julius Hibbert: Alright.

[stretches Wiggum's underwear and snaps him with them - laughs histerically]

Chief Wiggum: Don't snap my undies.

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[the Red Hot Chili Peppers are performing at Moe's bar]

Bart: Hey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, do you want to appear on a Krusty comeback special?

Flea: Sure, if you can get us outta this gig.

Bart: No problemo.

[Bart points to the wall behind Moe]

Bart: Hey Moe, look over there.

Moe: What? What am I looking at?

[Bart and the Red Hot Chili Peppers walk out the door]

Moe: I'm gonna stop looking here in a second. What, is *that* it?

[Homer walks into the bar]

Homer: Hey Moe, can I look too?

Moe: Sure, but it'll cost ya.

Homer: My wallet's in the car.

[He runs outside]

Moe: He is so stupid. And now, back to the wall...

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Anthony Kiedis: You told our agent this place holds 30,000 people.

Moe: It does. We had 30,000 here last night. Now play. The audience is getting restless.

Barney: [flicking a lighter] We want chilly-willy. We want chilly-willy.

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Krusty the Clown: If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit.

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Krusty the Clown: Hey that dummy can't hurt you! He's not even alive, he's dead!

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Krusty the Clown: I don't how to thank you kids.

Bart: That's okay, Krusty.

Lisa Simpson: We're getting fifty percent of the t-shirt sales.

Krusty the Clown: WHAT? That's the sweetest plum! You little...!

[calms down]

Krusty the Clown: Ah, what the hell, you deserve it. Thanks, kids.

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Krusty the Clown: Now, Johnny, what you got for us? Some jokes? A little magic?

Johnny Carson: Actually, I thought I'd lift this 1987 Buick Skylark over my head.

[does so]

Krusty the Clown: Hi-yo! Johnny, that's amazing!

Johnny Carson: Oh, yeah? Get a load of this.

[He juggles the car over his head, while singing opera]

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Krusty the Clown: Here's a feature never before seen on TV - dumb pet tricks. Catch the rubber ball, Fifi.

[the dog goes for Krusty's nose]

Krusty the Clown: AH. SOMEBODY SHOOT IT. SOMEBODY SHOOT IT.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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