Homer Simpson: To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.
Homer: Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life and I plan to keep it.
Rex Banner: You're out there somewhere, beer baron! And I'll find you.
Homer: [way off in the distance] No, you won't.
Rex Banner: Yes, I will
Rex Banner: Are you the Beer Baron?
Ned Flanders: Well, if you're talking about root beer, I plead guilt-diddily-ildly as char-didily-arged.
Rex Banner: He's not the Baron, but he sounds drunk. Take him in.
[Lou and Eddie arrest Ned]
Bart Simpson: Gee, Homer, you sure do suck tonight!
Homer Simpson: Yeah! Suck like a fox!
Homer Simpson: [Homer has a giant beer barrel over his head] Look at me! I'm the Prime Minister of Ireland!
Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, what you are seeing is a total disregard for the things St. Patrick's Day stand for. All this drinking, violence, destruction of property. Are these the things we think of when we think of the Irish?
Kent Brockman: Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon. Kent O'Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.
Kent Brockman: "What are you lookin' at?" - the innocent words of a drunken child.
[At the St. Patrick's Day Parade]
Kent Brockman: All this drinking, violence, destruction of property... are these the things that we think of when we think of the Irish?
Homer: Ooh, it's been St. Patrick's Day for hours, and I'm still not drunk yet.
[Homer wearing a beer keg on his head]
Homer: Look at me! I'm the Prime Minister of Ireland.
[everyone in the bar starts laughing]