Moe: It's like my dad always said: eventually, everybody gets shot.
[while Moe is away, Homer is in charge of the bar]
Homer: [picks up phone] Hello?
Bart: Uh, yeah, I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger. First name Ollie.
Homer: Ooh, Bart. My first prank call. What do I do?
Bart: Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.
Homer: I don't get it.
Bart: Yell out "I'll eat a booger".
Homer: What's the gag?
Bart: [sighs] Oh, forget it.
Moe: You can't run a bar in your garage, it's illegal.
Homer: Bar? This isn't a bar. This is a hunting club.
Michael Stipe: You lied to us.
[Michael Stipe smashes a beer bottle and tries to attack Homer]
Peter Buck: Michael, no.
Mike Mills: It's not the R.E.M. way.
Michael Stipe: You're right. Come on, let's recycle these shards and get out of here.
[singing along with an R.E.M. song]
Homer: Leonardo what-his-name, Herman Munster motorcade, birthday party Cheet-Os, pogo sticks and lemonade, idiotic stupid jerk, that's right Flanders, I am talking about you!
[R.E.M. is playing in Homer's garage]
Peter Buck: Michael, are you sure these guys are millionaires?
Michael Stipe: Of course I'm sure, would a poor person afford to have a bar in his garage?
[Homer, Lenny, Carl and Barney are sitting in Homer's garage, drinking]
Homer: [to Marge] Barkeep. Another beer.
Marge: Wasn't this supposed to be your tavern?
Homer: It's a family place. Right, kids?
Lisa: Can we go to bed now?
Lisa: This is pretty far to go just to spite Moe, isn't it?
Homer: It's not about spite, it's about petty revenge, and getting back at that traitor Moe.
Dr. Bob Kaufmann: Is there a lot of screaming at your house?
Bart: Well, my dad's always yelling about the white man keeping him down.