The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer and Apu (1994)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier

Photos 

Quotes 

• Apu : [singing]  Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, there's no structure I have been to which I'd rather call my home. When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, but now I've come to love your quirks. Maggie with her eyes so bright, Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright, Lisa can philosophize, Bart's adept at spinning lies, Homer's a delightful fella, sorry about the salmonella.

  Homer : [laughing]  That's okay.

  Apu : Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here's the tricky part. Oh, won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

  Marge : Their floors are sticky-mart.

  Lisa : They made dad sick-e-mart.

  Bart : Let's hurl a brick-e-mart.

  Homer : The Kwik-E-Mart is real... D'OH!

  Homer , Marge , Lisa , Bart : Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

  Apu : Not me!

  Homer , Marge , Lisa , Bart : Forget the Kwik-E-Mart. Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart. Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

  Apu : Not me.

  Homer : Everything really wrapped up nicely. Hmm, much quicker than usual.

  Marge : I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it.

  Homer : And we've all found happiness. Every one of us.

  Apu : [Sobbing] 

  Homer : Hey, what's that sound?

  Apu : Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? I do.

  Homer : Hey, he's not happy at all. He lied to us through song! I hate it when people do that!

• James Woods : But, as for me, I'm off to battle aliens on a far away planet.

  Marge : That sounds like a good movie.

  James Woods : Yes... Yes, a movie, yes.

• [while eating the Indian food Apu prepared] 

  Marge : Hmm, well, it certainly is exotic.

  [Lisa begins panting] 

  Marge : Oh, honey, is that too spicy for you?

  Lisa : [in a high, squeaky, soft voice]  I can see through time!

• Marge : Hmm, well, I guess we could go to that new Monstromart... Ooh, that's a good price for twelve pounds of nutmeg!

• Dr. Julius Hibbert : Well, see, Homer's illness was either caused by ingesting spoiled food or

  [laughs] 

  Dr. Julius Hibbert : some sort of voodoo curse.

  Patty Bouvier : Hey.

  [Selma holds up a Homer voodoo doll with multiple voodoo pins in its eyes] 

  Patty Bouvier : We've just been working the eyes.

• Marge : You wanna come with me to the Kwik-E-Mart?

  Apu : Please, Mrs. Simpson, I... I cannot go there. That is the scene of my spiritual depantsing.