Bart: [after they watch a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the pony tail off the guy in front of us.
[holds pony tail to his head]
Bart: Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.
Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.
Homer: What are you two laughing at? And if you say Jimmy Fallon, I'll know you're lying!
Ned Flanders: I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.
Townspeople: crowd cheers as prostitutes leave Flanders' house after being told off and thrown out by Flanders
Ned Flanders: I can't believe it. Everybody knew this was happening at my house and laughed at me. Well Homer, I guess you're the only true friend I have around here.
Moe: What are you talking about? Homer's the one who informed us of the sexy going-ons.
Homer: I'm sorry Flanders I couldn't tell you. I had to do it. It was just too funny.
Ned Flanders: The bible says to cast thy food upon the waters but all I got was soggy bread.
Homer: Mmm! Soggy bre...
Ned Flanders: Homer, this is not the time for that now.