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"The Simpsons" Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? (TV Episode 1999) Poster

Quotes

[Writing a food review]

Homer: The bread was... the bread was...

Santa's Little Helper: Ruff.

Homer: You've been pitching that one all night.

Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?

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Homer: Well here we are kids... the zoo.

Bart Simpson: That's great dad, except you were supposed to take us to the newspaper.

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Marge: Only your father could take a part-time job at a small town paper and wind up the target of international assassins.

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Newspaper Tour Guide: And each paper contains a certain percentage of recycled paper.

Lisa: What percentage is that?

Newspaper Tour Guide: Zero. Zero is a percent, isn't it?

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Homer: If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

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Editor: We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats.

Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours.

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Ned Flanders: A rude Frenchman. Why I never.

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Homer: [singing] I like pizza, I like bagels. I like hot dogs with mustard and beer.

Editor: I get the picture.

Homer: [still singing] I'll eat eggplant, I could even eat a baby deer. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

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Izzy: C'Mon. You gonna kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change.

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Homer: [writing a restaurant review] So come to The Legless Frog, if you want to get sick and die and leave a big garlicky corpse. P.S., parking was ample.

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Homer: People will think what I tell them to think when you tell me what to tell them to think.

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Marge: You love Shake n' Bake. You used to put it in your coffee.

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[while spying on Homer at the food festival]

Captain McCallister: Homer's undone the top button on his pants.

Akira: He's been walking around like that since Thanksgiving.

Captain McCallister: I'm surprised he doesn't just switch to sweat pants.

Akira: He says the crotch wears out too fast.

Captain McCallister: [shudders] That'll replace the whale in my nightmares!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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