Edit
"The Simpsons" Grift of the Magi (TV Episode 1999) Poster

(TV Series)

(1999)

Quotes

Kent Brockman: [from a TV broadcast] Our top story is the ozone hole that devastated Brazil last summer is apparently wintering in Springfield.

Bart Simpson: Wooh! Springfield rocks!

Kent Brockman: [from a TV broadcast] Residents are advised to stay inside unless you use sunscreen, or are very, very hairy. Experts recommend class nine, or Robin Williams level of hair coverage.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Lisa has been forced to write on the chalkboard, punishment for doing math in class]

Bart Simpson: [laughs] Lisa in trouble. The ironing is delicious.

Lisa Simpson: The word is irony.

Bart Simpson: Huh?

Lisa Simpson: Don't you think there's something weird going on here? We spent all day selecting fabric swatches and then our guest speaker was Phil, from marketing.

Bart Simpson: All's I know is I'm getting straights A's, and that ain't not bad.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[scene starts with Funzo singing, dancing, and playing with Bart]

Bart Simpson: It's always a party with Funzo!

Lisa Simpson: [Lisa walks up] I admit, it's kind of cute. But it'll never take the place of Malibu Stacy.

[Funzo takes the Malibu Stacy doll, breaks it, and throws it in the fire]

Lisa Simpson: AWHH! Did you see that!

Bart Simpson: Yeah! Funzo makes playtime fun!

[Funzo starts choking Bart's Krusty doll]

Bart Simpson: Hey, why is it destroying other toys?

Lisa Simpson: They must have programmed it to eliminate the competition.

Bart Simpson: You mean like Microsoft?

Lisa Simpson: Exactly! Come on Bart, we've gotta warn everyone.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lisa Simpson: The madness ends here!

Homer Simpson: [laughing at Lisa] Oh man! If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Funzo: [Homer has just chucked a bunch of Funzos in to a fire, to destroy them] I'm very mad at 'ou!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ralph Wiggum: [playing a doctor in a play] Hello! I'm Dr. Stupid. I'm gonna take out your liver bones!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ralph Wiggum: Fun toys are fun.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Fanzo threw a Barbie in the fire and strangled a Krusty toy]

Bart: Why is it destroying other toys?

Lisa: It must be programmed to do so to eliminate competition.

Bart: You mean like Microsoft?

Lisa: Yeah.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Principal Skinner: [At a meeting, discussing ways to save the school] Now, people, these are all good ideas...

Marge Simpson: No, they're not! They're terrible, terrible ideas!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart: Man, I'm so bored.

Milhouse: Wait until we're teenagers, then we'll be happy.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Julius Hibbert: How could you close the school?

Marge: What will become of our kids?

Homer Simpson: Where are the refreshments?

Principal Skinner: Now, you keep asking me that and I keep telling you, over there!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: So, who am I beating up?

Lisa Simpson: Nobody. You're just gonna break into everyone's house and steal their favorite toy.

Bart Simpson: Thus saving Christmas.

Homer Simpson: Now, let's see... this'll make three Christmases I saved versus eight I ruined... two were kind of a draw...

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page