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"The Simpsons" Fear of Flying (TV Episode 1994) Poster

(TV Series)

(1994)

Quotes

[after Homer has been banned from Moe's, a man comes in who looks exactly like Homer except for a fake-looking moustache and an English voice]

Guy N. Cognito: Greetings good men, might I trouble you for a drink?

Moe: Oh get out of here, Homer!

Guy N. Cognito: Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy N. Cognito.

[Homer walks past Moe's, despondent. From inside comes the sound of Guy N. Cognito getting beaten up by Moe, and he's thrown unconscious out of the bar and onto the street]

Homer: Oh, my God, this man is my exact double!

[a small, fluffy-tailed dog walks by]

Homer: That dog has a fluffy tail!

[Homer leaves Guy and starts pursuing the dog]

Homer: Come here, fluff!

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Homer: This is it. The last bar in Springfield. If they don't let me in, I'll have to quit drinking.

Homer's Liver: YAY.

Homer: Shut up, liver...

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Homer: [Homer seems oblivious to the fact that he's in a lesbian bar] Wait a minute... there's something bothering me about this place.

[looks around]

Homer: I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies.

[leaves]

woman: What was her problem?

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Norm Peterson: Woody, gimme a beer.

Woody Boyd: I think you've had enough, Mr. Peterson. My chiropractor says I can't carry you home anymore.

Norm Peterson: Just gimme another beer, ya brain-dead hick! I'll kill ya! I'll kill all of ya!

[he breaks a bottle and starts to wave it in Woody's face. Cliff and Frasier start to try and restrain him]

Cliff Clavin: Settle down, Normy! Save those pipes for karaoke!

[Norm settles down and starts to cry]

Norm Peterson: I love you guys!

[the first several notes of the "Cheers" theme song are heard. Homer runs out of the bar, screaming]

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Carla Tortelli LeBec: Sammy, you're too old to go on a date with two twins the same night. You're supposed to marry Diane without Rebecca knowin'!

Sam 'Mayday' Malone: All right, Carla, I'll make you a bet. If this affects my major league comeback, I'll sell the bar.

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Lisa: Cheer up, Dad. Did you know the Chinese use the same word for 'crisis' as they do for 'opportunity'?

Homer: Yes. Crisitunity.

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Marge: A woman doctor? Well, now I've seen everything.

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Homer: I wanna shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I wanna explore the world. I wanna watch TV in a different time zone. I wanna visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero. I want to LIVE, Marge. Won't you let me live? Won't you, please?

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Moe: That's it, Homer. I'm taking your caricature down from Mount Lushmore, and I'm pulling your favorite song out of the jukebox.

Homer: "It's Raining Men"?

Moe: Yeah, not no more it ain't.

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Homer: Good news everybody! Because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want!

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Homer: Lisa, the important thing is for your mother to repress what happened. Push it deep down inside her, so she'll never annoy us again.

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Guy N. Cognito: [comes into Moe's looking exactly like Homer except for a fake-looking moustache and silly voice] Hello! My name is Guy N. Cognito.

Moe: Get out of here, Homer!

[sound of Guy N. Cognito getting beaten up and thrown unconscious into the street]

Homer: [walking along despondent until he stumbles onto Guy N. Cognito] Oh, my God, this man is my exact double!

[a small, puffy-tailed dog walks by]

Homer: That dog has a puffy tail!

[Homer leaves Guy and starts pursuing the dog]

Homer: Here, puff!

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Marge: Everybody's afraid of something.

Homer: [smugly] Not everybody.

Marge: Sock puppets.

Homer: [shrieks in terror] Where? Where?

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Homer: Wait a minute... there's something bothering me about this place. I know. This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap ladies.

[leaves]

Lesbian: What's her problem?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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