Edit

Quotes

Homer Simpson: I'll have to read Marge's book. And I swore never to read again after 'To Kill a Mockingbird' gave me no useful advice on killing mockingbirds. It did teach me not to judge a man based on the color of his skin, but what good does that do me?

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: No, gotta read Marges' book. Can't get distracted. Distracted, that's a funny word. Does anyone ever get 'tracted'? I'm gonna call the suicide hotline and ask them.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Marge has written a book based on her and Homer]

Lisa: Dad will be upset when he reads that book.

Bart: He'll never read it.

Lisa: What if they make a movie out of it?

Bart: He'll never see it.

Lisa: What if they make a parody of it on Mad TV?

Bart: We're doomed!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[after lying to Marge about reading her book]

Homer Simpson: [thinking] Now for that happy period between the lie and the time it's found out.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[researching who shot JFK]

Homer Simpson: Marge, I figured it out! Lee Harvey Oswald wanted to steal the Jack Ruby.

Marge Simpson: Jack Ruby was a man, not a jewel.

Homer Simpson: Oh, I was so close.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart Simpson: Dad, you've been driving in circles for 20 minutes.

Lisa Simpson: Why don't you just admit you don't know where the hospital is?

Homer Simpson: Why don't you admit I know it's around here somewhere?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: You were gonna start a novel without informing me?

Marge Simpson: Homer, you left two jobs and bought an ambulance without even a phone call!

Homer Simpson: I also fed some ducklings.

Marge Simpson: I know, I got your message.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer: [singing, while hosing out the back of his ambulance] Here in my car/ I am hosing out blood / Some of it's mine / But most of it's not / Here's Marge.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer: I've got it! Lee Harvey Oswald killed Kennedy to get the jack ruby.

Marge: Homer, Jack Ruby was a man, not a jewel.

Homer: Oh, back to square one.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: When you write, you can let your imagination run wild.

[writing and reading aloud what she writes]

Marge Simpson: Temperance was doing the laundry.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: Apu, do you sell crazy straws? I've got a guy with a broken back and I'm trying to cheer him up.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: Dr. Marvin Monroe! I haven't seen you in years!

Dr. Marvin Monroe: Oh! I've been very sick

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: [singing to the tune of Gary Numan's 'Cars'] Here in my car/ I am cleaning out blood/ Some of it's mine/ But most of it's not/ Here's Marge.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the colour of his skin... but what good does *that* do me?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page