Mr. Burns: Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whomever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.
Peggy Bundy: [NASA people watch TV to see modern-day men on television. They click to "Married... With Children" on FOX]
Peggy Bundy: Al... let's have sex!
Al Bundy: Ehh, no Peg.
[Audience laughs and claps]
Al Bundy: [Al flushes a toilet, and everyone hollers and cheers]
Reporter 5#: Don't you think there is an inherent danger in sending unqualified, under trained civilians into space?
Homer Simpson: The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute... statue of liberty... that was our planet. You maniacs, you blew it up. Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
Kent Brockman: I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves!
Tim Taylor: [Finally gets his rider mower to start] Yes! I did it! I finally turbo-charged my riding mower! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
[Puts it in gear, it goes into reverse, knocks over the fence, and runs over next-door neighbor Wilson]
Tim Taylor: Oh, no! I've killed Wilson! Looks like it's back to jail for me! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Head of NASA: [Barney runs off drunk and wastes his chance at being an astronaut] Well, Homer, I guess that makes you the winner by default...
Homer: Default? The two sweetest words in the English language! De-FAULT! De-FAULT! De-FAULT!
NASA Assistant: [clubs Homer with a police sap]
Head of NASA: Where'd you get that thing?
NASA Assistant: Sent away.
Homer Simpson: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day, I kept saying, "I'll go a little later, I'll go a little later..." And when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he'll ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again!
Homer Simpson: Stupid carbon rod. It's all a popularity contest.
NASA Technician: [counting down to launch] Three... Two... One... MAKE ROCKET GO NOW!
NASA Assistant: Oh, and Mr. Gumble... For the duration of the training there'll be no more beer.
Barney Gumble: What? Three whole weeks with only wine? I'll go crazy!
[explaining why he believes he's finally going to win "Worker of the Week"]
Homer Simpson: "Union Rule 26: Every employee must win 'Worker of the Week' at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity or rank odor." Heh heh heh...