Quotes
Bart Simpson: And every night the monkey butlers will regale us with jungle stories.
Nelson: How many monkey butlers will there be?
Bart Simpson: One at first, but he'll train others.
Share this[last lines]
Narrator: So the children learned how to function as a society, and eventually they were rescued by, oh, let's say... Moe.
Share thisHomer Simpson: Welcome to the internet, my friend, how can I help you?
Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?
Homer Simpson: [stares blankly for a few seconds] Can I have some money now?
Share thisHomer Simpson: Oh, they have the internet on computers now!
Share thisPrincipal Skinner: Okay, delegates, you leave tomorrow for the statewide Model U.N., so this is our last chance to bone up. And bone we will!
[all the kids, except Lisa, laugh]
Bart Simpson: Lighten up, Lise.
Principal Skinner: Finland, let's see that native dance.
[Martin gets up and begins dancing]
Principal Skinner: Smile more. Work that pelvis. No, too much smile. Sit down.
[Martin sits down]
Principal Skinner: Poland, tell us about your nation's achievements
Milhouse Van Houten: Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once... at night! And there was that submarine, with the screen doors...
Principal Skinner: No, no, no, no, no. Young man, you need to do some serious boning!
[only Lisa laughs]
Bart Simpson: Oh, grow up, Lise.
Share thisHomer Simpson: [on the phone] Uh, can't make it in today, Mr. Smithers. I have smallpox. Well, it wasn't wiped out in my house!
Share thisPrincipal Skinner: Order! Order! Do you kids wanna be like the real U.N., or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?
Share thisChief Wiggum: Good luck, Ralphy. If your nose starts bleeding, it means you're picking it too much. Or not enough.
Share thisHomer Simpson: [reading an envelope in his mailbox] "Flancrest Enterprizses"?
Ned Flanders: Oops. That's for me. Flancrest Enterprises is my home business,
Homer Simpson: You liar! You don't have a home business! Why would you make up a lie like that?
Ned Flanders: No, it's true. Maude and I sell religious hook rugs over the internet.
Homer Simpson: Internet, eh?
Ned Flanders: Yes, indeedy. Making some good scratch too.
Homer Simpson: Scratch, eh?
Ned Flanders: Yep.
Homer Simpson: Maude, eh?
Share thisMarge Simpson: What exactly is it your company does again?
Homer Simpson: This industry moves so fast it's really hard to tell. That's why I need a name that's cutting-edge, like CutCo, EdgeCom, Interslice. Come on, Marge, you're good at these! Help me out!
Marge Simpson: How about... Compuglobalhypermeganet?
Homer Simpson: Fine, it's not important. What really matters is my title. I think I'll make myself... vice president. No, wait! Junior vice president!
Share thisPrincipal Skinner: Okay, kids. Otto's in charge! Remember, Otto. We're trusting you with our greatest natural resource... the school bus.
Share thisMilhouse Van Houten: I can't go on, you two go ahead... and carry me with you!
Share this[Bart has just described the island paradise he envisages]
Nelson: How many monkey butlers will there be?
Bart: One at first. But he'll train others.
Share this[Homer is using butter as a pencil holder]
Marge: Is that my butter?
Homer: Can't talk - taking another delicious memo.
[Licks tip of pencil as if about to write]
Homer: Mmmmm... memo.
Share thisLisa: All we found were these oozing berries, and they look pretty poisonous.
Ralph: I ated the purple berries... oooh, oohh
[falls to ground]
Ralph: ooohhh.
Lisa: How are they Ralph? Good?
Ralph: They taste like... burning.
Share thisBart: Woah! God is so in your face!
Homer Simpson: Yeah, he's my favorite fictional character.
Share thisPrincipal Skinner: Order, order. Do you kids wanna be like the real UN or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?
Share thisBill Gates: I didn't get rich by signing checks.
Share thisLisa: Oh, figs.
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