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Quotes

[Bart is about to destroy the school with a tank]

Edna Krabappel: [monotonous and indifferent] No, stop, think of the children.

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Ralph Wiggum: And I want a bike, and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey...

Hosey the Bear: You're not going to set any fires, are ya?

Ralph Wiggum: At my house, we call them uh-ohs.

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Principal Skinner: I'm afraid I'll have to expel your son

Marge Simpson: [gasps]

Principal Skinner: Unless you're willing to try a radical, untested, potentially dangerous...

Homer Simpson: Candy bar?

Principal Skinner: No. It's a new drug called Focusyn.

Marge Simpson: A drug? I know Bart can be rambunctious, but he's not some hyperactive monster.

[Bart appears outside the window, dressed as a cheerleader]

Bart Simpson: Gimme an F! Gimme an art!

Principal Skinner: Good Lord! He's gotten into the pep closet!

Homer Simpson: I'd say he's coming out of the pep closet.

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Bart Simpson: I don't wanna take drugs.

Homer Simpson: Sure you do. All your favorite stars have used drugs. Brett Butler, Tim Allen...

Marge Simpson: Tommy Lee...

Homer Simpson: Andy Dick...

Bart Simpson: He's just flamboyant.

Homer Simpson: Yeah, and I'm a size four.

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Marge Simpson: Hmm?

[reads a note taped to her chair]

Marge Simpson: "Thank you in advance for a world class meal. You're an inspiration to our entire organization. Thank you again, Bart." Oh, what a thoughtful gesture.

Bart Simpson: Cost of paper: five cents. A mother's love: priceless.

Marge Simpson: Aw.

Homer Simpson: Do I get a card?

Bart Simpson: No, but here's a book called "Chicken Soup for the Loser" that gave Bill Bruckner the courage to open a chain of laundromats.

Homer Simpson: Hmmm... my career has kind of lost momentum.

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Bart Simpson: Joke if you will, but did you know most people use ten per cent of their brains? I am now one of them. Before, my energy was all over the place. Now, it's concentrated like a laser beam. Well, this has been terrific. Let's do it again sometime.

Lisa Simpson: Are you standing up to get me to leave?

Bart Simpson: It's from the book.

Lisa Simpson: [scans the book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pre-Teens"] Hey! I'm not a Time Burglar!

Bart Simpson: [opens electronic organizer, types as he speaks] Memo to self: Lock door.

Lisa Simpson: All right, I'll go! You don't have to be a jerk about it.

Bart Simpson: [typing again] Memo to self: Shut up, Lisa.

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Marge Simpson: Bart's so well-behaved now. Maybe you and I can have a night out.

Homer Simpson: Ooh! Let's go to the water park! My ten-year ban ended yesterday.

Marge Simpson: I was thking of something a little more... adult.

[whispers]

Homer Simpson: Oh, Marge!

Marge Simpson: And then afterwards...

[whispers some more]

Homer Simpson: Hee-hee, hee-hee! Really? With butterscotch on it?

Marge Simpson: I think you misheard me.

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Comic Book Guy: Egad! A maniac cutting a swath of destruction! This is a job for the Green Lantern, Thundra, or possibleeee... Ghost Rider

Otto: What about Superman?

Comic Book Guy: Oh, please.

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Principal Skinner: Thank you for coming.

Homer Simpson: Thank you for getting me out of work.

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Lisa: I'm so glad you're home. Bart's acting funny.

Homer: "Ray J" funny or "O.J." funny?

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Principal Seymour: Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmellows, or raining down on Charlie.

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[Homer and Marge have been called in to the school to talk to Principal Skinner]

Principal Skinner: Thank you for coming.

Homer: Thank you for getting me out of work.

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Bart: Here Homer I got you this book "Chicken Soup for the Loser".

Homer: Hmmm is it any good?

Bart: I don't know but it inspired Bill Buckner to open a chain of Laundromats.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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