Homer: I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.
Narrator: Then, another bombshell. An anonymous tipster alerted Uncle Sam... that the Simpsons were evading their income taxes.
[cut to a darkened Kwik-E mart, with Apu in the Shadows]
Apu: Yeah, I finked on Homer but he deserved it. Never have I seen such abuse of the "Take A Penny, Leave A Penny" Tray.
Narrator: The dream was over. Coming up: Was the dream really over? Yes, it was. Or was it?
Homer Simpson: Why did I take such punishment? Let's just say that fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug was the drugs.
Krusty the Clown: Homer gave me a kidney: it wasn't his, I didn't need it, and it came postage due- but I appreciated the gesture!
Carl: Bart was always blowing his spare cash by paying us to kiss each other.
Lenny: Did we ever get that money?
Narrator: But interracial homoeroticism was only chapter one of Encyclopedia Self-Destructica.
Homer Simpson: Your favorite show was "Hollywood Hogwash", but we also loved "The Dreck Squad".
Marge Simpson: ..."The Malarkies", "Dumbing it Down"...
Lisa Simpson: "Sheriff Low-brow".
Bart Simpson: "Home Improvement".