Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin", and "Get Confident, Stupid.".
Brad Goodman: Okay, folks, let me hear what's troubling you. Don't be shy, yell it out. Everybody, go!
"Diamond" Joe Quimby: I, uh, can't commit to a relationship!
Montgomery Burns: I'm too nice!
Apu: I have problems with ...
Lenny: [interrupts] I'm always interrupting people!
Milhouse: [Milouse crawls out from a tunnel of mattresses, his hand over his nose] It smells funny in there.
Homer: No, it doesn't.
Kent Brockman: A new mood is in the air in Springfield, as refreshing as a pre-moistened towelette. Folks are finally accepting their feelings and really communicating with no holding back. And this reporter thinks it's about *beep*ing time!
Brad Goodman: Right now, I want each of you to try something interesting. There's no trick to it, it's just a simple trick!
Homer: Well, here we are at the Brad Goodman lecture.
Lisa: We know, Dad.
Homer: I just thought I'd remind everybody. After all, we did agree to attend this self-help seminar.
Bart: What an odd thing to say...
James Brown: Hey, wait a minute. Hold on here - this bandstand wasn't double-bolted.
Brad Goodman: We can all learn a lot from this young man here, this... this...
Brad Goodman: Rudiger. And if we can all be more like little Rudiger
Marge Simpson: His name is Bart
Brad Goodman: His name isn't important!
[If this were a cartoon, the cliff would break off now]
Bart: Lis, everyone in town is acting like me, so why does it suck?
Lisa: It's simple, Bart. You've defined yourself as a rebel. And in the absence of a repressive milieu, your societal niche has been co-opted.
Bart: I see.