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"The Simpsons" Bart's Friend Falls in Love (TV Episode 1992) Poster

Quotes

[Homer listened to an audio cassette that promised "Lose weight while you sleep", but instead he got a vocabulary builder.]

Marge Simpson: Has that cassette helped reduce your appetite?

Homer Simpson: Lamentably, no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satiety.

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Samantha Stanky: How will we know when we fall in love?

Mrs. Krabappel: Oh, don't worry children. Most of you will *never* fall in love, but will marry out of fear of dying alone!

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Milhouse: How could this have happened? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but instead it ended in tragedy.

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Milhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.

Bart: Aw come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when we're out of chocolate milk, you cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

Milhouse: Well, I didn't want you to see me cry THIS time.

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[after watching a film on sex education]

Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?

Mrs. Krabappel: I'm sorry, that would be playing God.

Bart: God-schmod, I want my monkey man.

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Bart: [trying out Milhouse's new 8-Ball] Will I pass my test today. "Outlook not so good." Hey, it does work!

Milhouse: Let me try! Will I get beat up today? "All signs point to yes."

Nelson Muntz: That ball knows everything!

[Hits Milhouse over the head]

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[while Milhouse is strangling Bart, Bart gropes around for a weapon, and breaks the magic eight-ball over Milhouse's head]

Bart: Boy, I bet the eight ball didn't see that one coming.

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[Marge is told about the various skills taught by the subliminal learning program]

Marge Simpson: Hmm, hostage negotiations...

[She has a daydream of Homer, wearing a bulletproof vest and standing next to a surrounded airplane, speaking through a megaphone]

Homer Simpson: Listen, Tabbouleh, we're ignoring all your demands! What do you say to that?

[a hand comes out with a submachine gun and shoots Homer dead]

Marge Simpson: Better give me the weight loss tape.

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[Homer gasping for air due to being so out of shape]

Commercial Announcer: We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it "The Good Morning Burger".

[Homer starts gurgling in ecstasy]

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Lisa Simpson: Dad, what if I told you that you could lose weight without diet or exercise?

Homer Simpson: I'd call you a lying scumbag, honey. Why?

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Milhouse: [re: the magic eight-ball] Hey, Bart. Was this thing right about your test?

Bart: To those of you who doubt the power of the magic eight-ball, I say: behold my "F"!

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Mrs. Krabappel: [Mrs. Krabappel's class is watching a sex education video] She's faking.

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Lisa: Dad, what would you say if I told you that you can lose weight without dieting?

Homer: I'd say you were a lying scumbag. Why, honey?

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Troy McClure: I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's... ''Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What''

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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