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"The Simpsons" Bart the Murderer (TV Episode 1991) Poster

(TV Series)

(1991)

Quotes

Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?

Fat Tony: Bart, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?

Bart: No.

Fat Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?

Bart: Uh uh.

Fat Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?

Bart: I guess that's okay.

Fat Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?

Bart: Hell, no.

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Fat Tony: Hey, pick a horse, kid. 3rd race, give it a good one.

Bart: Eat my shorts.

Fat Tony: Eat My Shorts. Let see... Hey, wait a minute you little punk! Eat My Shorts is in the 5th Race, I said the 3rd race!

Bart: Don't have a cow.

Fat Tony: Don't Have A Cow in the 3rd.

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Fat Tony: Hey Bart, I hope there are no hard feelings.

Bart: Get bent.

Fat Tony: I deserved that.

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Lionel Hutz: Lionel Hutz, court-appointed attorney. I'll be defending you on the charge of... Murder One! Wow! Even if I lose, I'll be famous!

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Mrs. Krabappel: Bart Simpson, you're late! Go to the office and fill out a tardy slip.

Bart: But I'm only

[looks at the clock]

Bart: five, ten, fifteen, twenty... forty minutes? That's pretty damn late!

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Bart: Aah! You ate my homework?... I didn't know dogs really did that.

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[watching his first Itchy & Scratchy cartoon]

Fat Tony: It's funny because it's true.

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Lewis: [covered in leaves] Hey, look at me. I'm Skinner's body!

Bart: That is not funny, Lewis.

Milhouse Van Houten: Well, I heard Skinner's buried under his parking spot.

Richard: Well, I heard he was ground up into hamburger and served to us at lunch.

Nelson: I heard Bart had Skinner killed by gangsters.

Bart: That's not true! It's just a rumor. You're engaged in speculation. I know the law, you can't prove anything.

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Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. And I am the... uh... what cures cancer?

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Fat Tony: What's a murder?

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[Principal Skinner has just burst into the courtroom, "back from the dead", saving Bart from jail for his "murder" with his explanation on what happened to him]

Prosecuting Attorney: Your Honor, the prosecution moves that Principal Skinner's testimony be stricken from the record!

Judge Snyder: [shouts] Denied! Case dismissed!

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Bart: [while working for Fat Tony] Gimme three fingers of milk, Ma.

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Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer in this fair city. He is the cancer, and I am the, um... what cures cancer.

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Bart: Did you kill my principal?

Fat Tony: Uh, chinese guy with a moustache?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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