Dr. Hibbert: Hmm, a Ford urinating on a Chevrolet.
Bernice Hibbert: Don't you usually laugh at everything?
Dr. Hibbert: Yes. Yes, I do.
Maude Flanders: Neddy, I've had about all I can take of Homer Simpson's torso. I'll get some hot dogs.
Ned Flanders: No foot-longs!
Maude Flanders: I know, they make you uncomfortable.
Reverend Lovejoy: In many ways, Maude Flanders was a supporting player in our lives. She didn't grab our attention with memorable catchphrases, or comical accents.
Captain McAllister: Yar.
Frink: Oh, glaven, why, glaven?
Reverend Lovejoy: But, whether you noticed her or not, Maude was always there... and we thought she always would be.
[Comic Book visits a dating service and grabs all the one-nighter presentation videotapes]
Clerk: Are you going to call all those women?
Comic Book Guy: No, the tapes will do just fine.
[Homer is taping a shirtless Flanders doing yardwork]
Bart Simpson: Why are you taping Flanders, Dad?
Homer Simpson: [slyly] You'll see.
Bart Simpson: Do you even *have* a job anymore?
Homer Simpson: I think it's pretty obvious that I *don't*.
Ned Flanders: Hi-diddly-ho, petal-to-the-metal-ophiles.
Homer Simpson: Flanders? Since when do you like anything cool?
Ned Flanders: Oh, I don't care for the speed, but I can't get enough of that safety gear - helmets, roll bars, caution flags...
Maude Flanders: I like the fresh air, and looking at the poor people in the infield.
Brandine: Dang, Cletus, why'd you have to park by my parents?
Cletus: Now, honey, they's my parents, too.
Reverend Lovejoy: My friends, life is about change. Just yesterday, Apu was a lonely bachelor.
Apu: Yes, thank God those days are over.
Reverend Lovejoy: And the Van Houtens were enjoying a storybook marriage.
Kirk Van Houten: Yeah, lots of storybooks have witches.
Pyro: Shut up, Kirk!
Kirk Van Houten: Sorry.