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"Sex and the City" The Monogamists (TV Episode 1998) Poster

(TV Series)

(1998)

Quotes

Carrie: I've done the merry go round I've been through the revolving door I feel like I met somebody I can stand still with for a minute and... don't you wanna stand still with me?

Big: You dragged me out to a park at three in the morning to ask me if I wanna stand still with you?

Carrie: ...Yes.

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[first lines]

Carrie: [voice over narration] The Island Of Manhattan is a cosy village populated by more than seven million fascinating individuals who all behave like they own the sidewalk. But lately it seemed as if the entire city had been magically reduced to only two people... us. Four-hour conversations flew by in the space of fifteen minutes, and a few days apart felt like weeks. I realised that Einstein's law of relativity would have to be amended to include a special set of rules, those to explain the peculiar effects of infatuation.

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Carrie: [on the phone] I can't believe it's been so long. I've been meaning to call you, I've just been...

Miranda Hobbes: Fucking your brains out?

Carrie: Yeah, well, that's the least of it.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] As I hung up, I realized I'd committed the cardinal sin... I'd forsaken my girlfriends for my new boyfriend. That night I faced the tribunal.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] Last night, after Michael took Charlotte to the Philharmonic, they went back to his place and began the classic dating ritual... the blow job tug of war.

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[Talking about oral sex]

Charlotte York: The truth is, I hate doing it.

Samantha Jones: Honey, you can't be serious!

Miranda Hobbes: Are you telling us you never perform this act?

Carrie: She'll juggle, she'll spin plates, but she won't give head.

Charlotte York: I don't like putting it in my mouth! I have a very sensitive gag reflex and it makes me want to puke!

Miranda Hobbes: That's one way to say no.

Charlotte York: It's not like I haven't tried. I practiced on a banana, I pretended it was a Popsicle, but... I just don't like it.

Miranda Hobbes: Personally, I'm loving it, up to the point where the guy wants me to swallow.

Carrie: Well that's just, that's really a judgment call.

Samantha Jones: Some men just take it so personally if you don't.

Miranda Hobbes: Some guys don't give you a choice!

Carrie: Well that's just bad behavior.

Charlotte York: Are you honestly telling me you like it?

Carrie: Well, it's not my favorite thing on the menu, but you know, I'll order it from time to time, and, with the right guy, it can be nice.

Miranda Hobbes: Oral sex is like God's gift to women. - You can get off without worrying about getting pregnant.

Samantha Jones: Plus the sense of power is such a turn-on, maybe you're on your knees, but you got him by the balls.

Charlotte York: You see, that is the reason that I don't want to go down this road.

Carrie: Well sweetheart, if you're gonna get all choked up about it...

[Carrie and Miranda exchange looks about the pun]

Carrie: , just don't do it, don't do it!

Miranda Hobbes: But if you don't go down on him, how can you expect him to go down on you?

Charlotte York: I don't.

Miranda Hobbes: Oh, well, forget it! I only give head to get head!

Samantha Jones: Me, too.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] True, we had never discussed exclusivity. But while for me, the idea of seeing another man would be trying to fit another outfit into an already over-stuffed suitcase, Big was happily dating another woman like it was the most natural thing in the world. Is it that men have an innate aversion to monogamy, or is it more than that? I wondered. In a city like New York, with its infinite possibilities, has monogamy become to much to expect?

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Random Woman: Monogamy is fabulous. It gives you a deep and profound connection to another human being, and you don't have to shave your legs as much.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] Samantha didn't believe in monogamy, especially when it came to real estate agents.

Rick Connelly: This is a pre-war six. Notice the classic lines. Very solidly built.

Carrie: [voice over narration] Although Pamela had the hottest contacts in town, Rick did have a slight competitive edge. He gave Samantha the opportunity to combine her two greatest loves: sex and real estate. That afternoon I dragged my poor tortured soul out to lunch with Stanford Blatch, and attempted to stun it senseless with cosmopolitans.

Stanford Blatch: Monogamy is on its way out again. It had a brief comeback in the nineties, but as the millennium approaches, everyone's leaving their options open.

Carrie: Come on, you wouldn't commit to a nice guy, given the option?

Stanford Blatch: I can't even commit to a long distance carrier.

Carrie: Yeah, you know what you are? You're a whore!

Stanford Blatch: I wish that were true.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] What was happening to me? I used to get a secret rush on men who hit on me during their fifteen minutes of fame. In this case, it merely felt exhausting.

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Carrie: [aside to the camera] I was striving for noncommittal, but I was worried I had just bordered on shrill.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] There were so many questions I wanted him to answer, but would not ask. Not tonight at least. No, tonight I would ask Miranda.

[to Miranda]

Carrie: He said, "I miss you, baby." Do you think that was meant to be some kind of coded mea culpa?

Miranda Hobbes: You mean like what he really meant was, "I've been a complete idiot. Please forgive me for having dinner with that other woman."?

Carrie: Exactly.

Miranda Hobbes: Could be.

Carrie: Well no, because that would mean that everything he ever said that I interpreted as sincere is subject to interpretation, and in that case, what I perceive as his feelings for me may only really be reflected projections of my feelings for him.

Miranda Hobbes: What?

Carrie: Oh God, I'm freaking. I've gotta stop. Stop.

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Alison Roth: [to Skipper] You're breaking up with me while you're still inside of me?

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Carrie: [voice over narration] As Skipper rededicated his singular affection for Miranda, Charlotte was receiving her own declaration of monogamy.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] And while Charlotte embraced fidelity, and Samantha flaunted her infidelity... I felt myself caught somewhere in between.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] I felt like a fool. I had gone so far out on a limb with my feelings that I didn't realise I was standing out there alone. When life gets this confusing, sometimes there's only one thing to do, attend a fabulous party.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] In a room where everyone was gorgeous, cool, and under thirty, monogamy suddenly became to seem like a quaint notion.

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Charlotte York: [voice over narration] While Miranda misjudged the intensity of Skipper's feelings, Michael left Charlotte no doubt about his.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] Michael was upset, but Butterscotch seemed pleased. She was finally back in her monogamous relationship. Half past midnight. In a city that never sleeps, neither did the real estate market.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] Two a.m., and I already had a new man in my life.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] Forty five minutes later, I realised I was alone in a park at three a.m. And that it was time to call it a night.

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Carrie: [voice over narration] In a city of infinite options, sometimes there's no better feeling than knowing you only have one.

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Jared: The best part about being a published author, besides the universal validation, is the knowledge that I am pumping my ideas into the mainstream.

Carrie: I thought it was that you could behave like an utter ass hole and people would find it amusing.

Jared: I love you, you know that? I'm like, fucking in love with you.

[Carrie laughs]

Jared: Will you go home with me?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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