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"Sex and the City" Secret Sex (TV Episode 1998) Poster

(TV Series)

(1998)

Quotes

Carrie Bradshaw: [regarding Mr. Big] The thing is, I was dying to sleep with him, but isn't delayed gratification the definition of maturity?

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Samantha Jones: [someone has drawn a penis on Carrie's Bus Poster] Oh, don't worry, honey! No one notices a bus in New York until it's about to hit them!

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Mr. Big: Interesting dress.

Carrie: Meaning?

Mr. Big: Interesting dress.

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Samantha Jones: A guy could just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth.

Miranda Hobbes: When have you ever been on a tenth date?

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[first lines]

Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating voice over] Two weeks ago I had my picture taken...

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[Before Carrie goes on her first official date with Mr. Big, she's showing the girls what she's wearing]

Samantha Jones: Hey honey, it's fabulous. Bravo!

Miranda Hobbes: It's tits on toast, baby. But you make it work.

Charlotte York: Well, let's just say it. It's the "naked dress". I mean, you're obviously gonna have sex with him tonight.

Carrie Bradshaw: Come on, it's our first date!

Miranda Hobbes: She's not gonna have sex. She's just gonna look like sex.

Carrie Bradshaw: That's right. I'm just the trailer.

Samantha Jones: Please. If it happens, it happens. Bottoms up!

Charlotte York: Wait a second! I thought you were serious about this guy, you can't sleep with him on the first date.

Samantha Jones: Oh, God!

Miranda Hobbes: Here she goes again with 'The Rules.'

Samantha Jones: The women who wrote that book, they wrote it because they couldn't get laid. So they constructed this whole bullshit theory to make women who can get laid feel bad.

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Miranda Hobbes: Forget the math, just don't fuck on a first date, you're fine.

Carrie Bradshaw: Third date.

Charlotte York: Too soon!

Samantha Jones: Reality check.

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Charlotte York: And by then at least you're emotionally involved.

Samantha Jones: Exactly! I mean, isn't it better to find out if the sex is good right off the bat, before anybody's feelings get hurt?

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Miranda Hobbes: True romance cannot exist without good sex.

Samantha Jones: And yet you can have good sex with someone you don't like or respect... or even remember.

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Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating voice over, after having sex on the first date with Mr. Big] I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly, as an asshole.

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Miranda Hobbes: [the man Miranda had just met at the gym asked her out] No, it's too quick. I think maybe that kick in his head scrambled his brains.

Carrie Bradshaw: No, too quick is sleeping with him on the first date. That's too quick.

Miranda Hobbes: You both got excited, and you went for it. Stop blaming yourself.

Carrie Bradshaw: No, I don't blame myself. I blame the dress. The dress!

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Samantha Jones: Have I ever had fabulous sex with someone that I didn't want to admit to? Hmm. Did I ever tell you about that jazz musician who lived with his mother in Queens?

Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, Alex.

Samantha Jones: What about the window washer?

Carrie Bradshaw: The one who doesn't wear any underwear?

Samantha Jones: I met this gorgerous kid in Spy Bar last year. He was...

Carrie Bradshaw: He turned out to be in high school.

[narrating voice over]

Carrie Bradshaw: Evidently, Samantha had had lots of sex, none of which was secret.

Samantha Jones: Fine, it just proves that I'm not ashamed of anyone whom I've slept with.

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Samantha Jones: There's no such thing as bad publicity.

Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, you would say that, you're a publicist.

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Charlotte York: So we would talk about art, and sex, and the Torah.

Carrie Bradshaw: Well, why didn't you introduce him to anybody?

Charlotte York: I was embarrassed! I mean, I couldn't really date him. And he couldn't date me. I mean, what would people think?

Samantha Jones: Well, if the sex was good, who cares what anybody thinks?

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[last lines]

Carrie Bradshaw: So you and me... Then maybe this is for real?

Mr. Big: Could be...

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[voice-over, about Charlotte's secret tryst with a Jewish artist]

Carrie Bradshaw: It was so sexy, so forbidden: Daddy's little Episcopalian princess in the arms of one of God's chosen People.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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