7 of 1 (TV Series)

Prisoner and Escort (1973)

Ronnie Barker: Norman Stanley Fletcher

Quotes 

• Fletch : [referring to Mackay]  Otherwise you'd wait until we'd got up a bit of speed out of Hemel Hempstead, then chuck me out the window and put it down as attempted escape.

  Barrowclough : Oh, he wouldn't do that.

  Fletch : Nah, I suppose not. He couldn't spell Hemel Hempstead, he'd wait until we'd got to Rugby!

• [Fletcher is standing to attention as Mackay lectures him after the van bringing Fletcher to Slade Prison mysteriously broke down on the way] 

  Mr. Mackay : Don't give me any of your facetious lip, Fletcher. I know you were trying to work one last night.

  Norman Stanley Fletcher : On what do you base that supposition, Mr Mackay?

  Mr. Mackay : On the evidence of our motor mechanic's report on the van.

  [Fletcher looks guilty] 

  Mr. Mackay : It appears that the petrol tank had more in it *after* our journey than *before*. Only what was in the tank was certainly not 5-star. Now, I'm going to be watching you, Fletcher. I'm going to be watching you like a hawk. Because nobody, nobody goes over the wall in my prison.

  Mr. Mackay : Oh no, Mr Mackay, no-one would dare take the petrol out of you.