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"Seinfeld" The Pilot (TV Episode 1993) Poster

(TV Series)

(1993)

Quotes

Russell Dalrymple: Oh, Elaine, we're doing some very, very interesting things right now. We've got some very exciting pilots for next season. We have one with a bright young comedian, Jerry Seinfeld.

Elaine Benes: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I've heard of him. He's that "Did you ever notice this, did you ever notice that" guy.

Russell Dalrymple: In fact, he was in the restaurant the day that we met.

Elaine Benes: Uhuh.

Russell Dalrymple: Um, well, anyway, it's a groundbreaking show.

Elaine Benes: Really? What is it about?

Russell Dalrymple: Well,

[chuckles]

Russell Dalrymple: it's... it's really very unusual. It's about nothing.

Elaine Benes: What do you mean, it's about nothing?

Russell Dalrymple: Mmm, for example, what did you do today?

Elaine Benes: Um, I got up, I went to work, then I came here.

Russell Dalrymple: There's a show. That's a show.

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George Costanza: What if the pilot gets picked up, and it becomes a series?

Dana Foley: That would be wonderful, George. You'll be rich and successful.

George Costanza: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm worried about. God would never let me be successful. He'd kill me first. He'd never let me be happy.

Dana Foley: I thought you didn't believe in God.

George Costanza: I do for the bad things.

Dana Foley: Do you hear what you're saying? God isn't out to get you, George. What... What is that on your lip?

George Costanza: What?

Dana Foley: It's like a discoloration. It's white.

George Costanza: [looks in a mirror] Yes. Yes, it's white. Why is it white?

Dana Foley: You'd better get that checked out.

George Costanza: "Better get that checked out"?

Dana Foley: I would.

George Costanza: What kind of a therapist are you? I'm telling you I'm scared that something terrible is gonna happen to me. Right away you start looking for tumors?

Dana Foley: I'm trying to help.

George Costanza: What are you, like a sadist? No matter how bad somebody feels, you can make 'em feel worse? I'll bet you're rootin' for the tumor!

Dana Foley: I think you'd better go.

George Costanza: Well, I'm going, baby! I'm goin'!

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