Seinfeld: Season 9, Episode 4

The Blood (16 Oct. 1997)

TV Episode  |  TV-PG  |   |  Comedy
8.3
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Ratings: 8.3/10 from 622 users  
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Jerry's parents hire their friend Izzy Mandelbaum to become Jerry's personal trainer while George decides to associate food and television with his love life.

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Title: The Blood (16 Oct 1997)

The Blood (16 Oct 1997) on IMDb 8.3/10

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Cast

Episode complete credited cast:
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Vivian
Audrey Kissel ...
Tara
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Jimmy
Gene Dynarski ...
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Storyline

Jerry starts gaining weight and his parents hire Izzy Mandelbaum (see episode "The English Patient") to assist Jerry as a personal trainer. Kramer starts giving blood and uses his own refrigerator to store it, but it freaks Jerry out. Then, George starts dating a woman who uses incense, and he gets the idea to associate food and sex with his love life. He makes something called "pudding skin singles" using an Exacto knife. Back at Jerry's, he yells at Kramer to get the blood away from him, but then he pounds the table and the Exacto flies at him and cuts his throat. Jerry loses blood and Kramer gives Jerry some of his, causing Jerry to freak out. Meanwhile, Elaine is out in the suburbs visiting her friend Vivian. Vivian wants somebody to watch her troublesome son Jimmy but she doesn't think Elaine is responsible enough. So Elaine goes to great lengths to prove it, even taking Kramer's spot. Vivian then tells Elaine that she is experiencing some health problems, and that Elaine might ... Written by halo1k

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Comedy

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16 October 1997 (USA)  »

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4:3
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Did You Know?

Quotes

Jerry Seinfeld: [Jerry finds Kramer and Newman in his apartment] What is this?
Cosmo Kramer: We're making sausages!
Jerry Seinfeld: I thought you were going to watch a video.
Cosmo Kramer: An instructional video on how to make your own sausages!
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Connections

References Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986) See more »

Soundtracks

MaƱana (Is Soon Enough For Me)
(uncredited)
by Peggy Lee and Dave Barbour
Organ arrangement by Jackie Davis
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User Reviews

 
Definitely one worth skipping
25 January 2015 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

I felt compelled to provide a review of this episode because at present the only review on this site is by the guy who simply says every episode is a "10." Every single episode of a series cannot, by definition, be a "10" anymore than everything Shakespeare ever wrote could be a 10—some of these works are not as good as others.

Kramer's plot gets the title here. He has been donating blood—we never hear how much—and decided to "withdraw" it from the blood bank and store it himself in his apartment. The illogic of how blood stored in his own freezer could somehow be used if he was in an accident and needed a transfusion right away is only part of the problem with this episode.

George dates a woman who lights a vanilla incense stick right before having sex with him. The aroma makes him immediately leave her place to go the coffee shop to wolf down some food. He then gets the idea of combining his two loves—sex and food by eating while in bed with her. We see the two are under the sheet, with George sticking his head out and opening a drawer to pull out a sub and start eating while she, somehow, doesn't notice. That is, she doesn't notice until he gets "greedy" and decides to add a little TV watching to the other two activities.

Elaine visits a friend, who apparently is a single mother—they never say—who asks her who she might recommend as a babysitter. Apparently this woman is wise enough to know Elaine would be a terrible babysitter. But Elaine is so offended by this that she literally accosts Kramer, who has been hired to do the job, right on the woman's front porch and throws him over the side and beats him with a broom so she can babysit. We then see that she has allowed the bratty 7-year-old-or-so kid (he keeps kicking every adult in the shins as soon as he meets them) to run rampant over her, even pouring orange juice into her purse, just so he won't complain about how she treated him.

One night and she wants nothing more to do with him, but her friend now wants her to babysit all the time. Elaine then works to be fired by the friend for being a lousy sitter, but the friend ignores everything she sees except that her boy is now asleep, so Elaine is stuck with the kid.

Jerry is told he is putting on weight—even though he doesn't show it—and so his parents hire Mr. Mandlebaum (Lloyd Bridges) as his personal trainer. He puts him through some old-style gym workouts, then hooks him to a rope attached to the back of Jerry's car as Jerry is to run along and keep up. When the car speeds up (due to reasons I won't spoil) Jerry needs a hospital.

There are a few good lines but NONE of these plots were more than a bit amusing. None of them seemed realistic even in the Seinfeld universe. Kramer storing his own blood and Jerry "needing" a trainer when he is normally shown as working out in a gym regularly were dumb enough. How someone can truly eat a big sandwich while engaging in sex—or why he would want to—is particularly dumb. But perhaps the least logical plot of these four is Elaine's eagerness to be a babysitter when she has never been shown to like kids, then her unwillingness to just tell this friend after the first disastrous try that she can't do it anymore, or that she can't commit to doing it regularly because she has too busy a schedule, is beyond my comprehension. She states that she'd be good at it because she loves bossing people around. But as far as we saw, she never even attempted to boss the kid around because she wanted him to tell his mom how nice the sitter was.

I haven't yet mentioned the un-Seinfeldlike scene where Newman, who recently couldn't stand the thought of Jerry being a guest at his big Millennium party, now has no problem sitting in Jerry's bedroom, presumably on the bed, next to Kramer to watch a movie they rented. There's more weird stuff later but none of it is all that funny. I just cannot give this episode more than a 3.


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