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"Seinfeld: The Alternate Side (#3.11)"
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Reviews & Ratings for
"Seinfeld" The Alternate Side (1991)

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

Author: Max_cinefilo89 from Italy
11 November 2008

Given the similarities in comic sensibility between Larry David/Jerry Seinfeld and Woody Allen (not to mention the fact that Larry has had minor roles in a few of Woody's films), it was only a matter of time before the quintessential New York director was in some way involved in the making of an episode of the ultimate New York TV show. The episode in question is the borderline genius The Alternate Side, which continues the series' tradition of bringing out the best (read: worst) in the personalities of Kramer, George and Elaine.

Allen's role in the plot is minimal, in fact he doesn't appear at all. It is just mentioned that he's shooting his latest movie (which would have to be Husbands and Wives, given the air date of the episode) not so far away from Jerry's apartment, and Kramer is lucky enough to get a small speaking part in the film. George is less thrilled by Woody's presence, given the film crew's presence prevents him from doing his job well (he's supposed to make sure no one parks their car on a certain side of the street on that particular day and move any vehicle that inadvertently breaks the rule). Meanwhile, Elaine dates an older man and ends up in trouble when the latter has a heart attack, and jerry, staying in motor-related territory, has to deal with the theft of his car.

The Alternate Side, apart from merging two comedic universes (Allen and Seinfeld), is one of the highlights of Season 3 for how it uses Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus is some exquisitely absurd situations (as usual, George is the king). It is verbally speaking, however, that the episode scores its biggest triumph, with Kramer's deliberately pointless movie line: "These pretzels are making me thirsty!". Just like Kelsey Grammar, who was given bad lines on purpose by the writers of Cheers to see if he could make them funny, Michael Richards turns that nonsense into an instantly quotable Zinger, which rightfully went on to become one of the show's most enduring catchphrases (and this, worth noting, was before the fourth season made Seinfeld a nationwide hit). Those pretzels, indeed.

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!". Excellent Episode, that's very funny and quite underrated in my opinion

Author: callanvass
29 March 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

*plot. George's job moving cars from one side of the street to the other turns out to be much harder then he expected. Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen film: "These pretzels are making me thirsty". Elaine has troubles breaking up with her 66 year old boyfriend Owen.

This is an excellent episode, that's very funny and quite underrated in my opinion!. Jason Alexander is hilarious in this one, as I loved his reactions when he was having troubles with parking the cars, and I also found it funny when Elaine's boyfriend Owen(Edward Penn), has a heart attack, as they try to fix him and shove cookies in his mouth, plus this is very well directed by Tom Cherones, and written by Bill Masters. Jerry's opening stand up about car alarms was especially funny, and This is very well made as well, plus the conversation between Jerry and the guy that stole his car is very funny. I loved the scene when Jerry gets annoyed about how the car rental salesman didn't keep his reservation, and this is episode is quite clever as well, plus it's filled with classic moments!. This is an excellent episode, that's very funny and quite underrated in my opinion, and I say it's a must see for every Seinfeld fan if you haven't. ****1/2 out of 5

Favorite quotes

(Jerry's conversation with the guy who stole his car). Car stealer: Hello?. Jerry: Hello, is this 555-8383?. Car stealer: I have no idea. Jerry: Can I ask you a question?. Car stealer: Sure. Jerry: Did you steal my car?. Car stealer: Yes I did. Jerry: You did!. Car stealer: I did. Jerry: But that's my car!. Car stealer: I didn't know it was yours. Jerry: What are you gonna do with it?. Car stealer: I don't know drive around. Jerry: Then can I have it back?. Car stealer: No I'm gonna keep it. Kramer: Let me talk to him, give it, give it, hello?. Car stealer: Yeah who's this?. Kramer: Kramer. Car stealer: Hello Kramer. Kramer: Listen there's a pair of gloves in the glove department. Car stealer: Wait hold it, brown ones?. Kramer: Yeah, listen could you you mail those to me, or bring them by my building, it's 129 West 81st Street. Car stealer: 129...OK. Kramer: Alright thanks a lot here's Jerry. Jerry(Snatching phone): Gloves. Jerry: Hello?. Car stealer: Jerry?. Jerry: Yeah let me ask you a question, how do you cross those wires?. Car stealer: I didn't cross any wires the keys were in it. Jerry: Sid left the keys in it the car, alright I gotta go drive carefully. Car stealer: Hey Jerry, when's the last time you had a tune up because I can't (hang up)

(Elaine talking to Jerry about Owen). Jerry: 66 years old?!. Elaine: Yeah well he's in perfect health, he works out he's vibrant, You'd really like him. Jerry: Why do people always say that?, I hate everybody. Elaine: So what do you think, could you go out with a 66 year old woman?. Jerry: Well I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant, so vibrant, She'd be spinning.

(jerry's argument with the rental car salesman). Rental lady: Well we do have a compact if you would like that. Jerry: Fine. Rental lady: Alright. Lady: Well we have a blue Ford Escort for you Mr. Seinfeld, would you like insurance?. Jerry: Yeah you better give the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this thing!.

(ending). Jerry: Let me get that. George: No, no I got it. Jerry: Please. George: Now come on, I'm the one who smashed your car, it cost over 2000$. Jerry: Yeah a cup of coffee should cover it.

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