- George Costanza: Hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, V, in relation to the trajectory, T, in which G, gravity, of course, remains a constant.
- [hits a home run]
- George Costanza: It's not complicated.
- Derek Jeter: Now, who are you again?
- George Costanza: George Costanza. Assistant to the Traveling Secretary.
- [hits another home run]
- Bernie Williams: Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?
- George Costanza: Do you want to talk about hotels or do you want to win some ball games?
- Derek Jeter: Hey, we won the World Series.
- George Costanza: [derisively] In six games.
- [hits another home run]
- Cosmo Kramer: They're trying to screw with your head.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Now, why would a junior high school want to screw with my head?
- Cosmo Kramer: Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries? I don't know!
- Jerry Seinfeld: To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up. But now, no sex, it's like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting through. You're stupid.
- Elaine Benes: I don't understand.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Exactly.
- Larry The Cook: [Kramer lights up a cigar at Monk's] Hey, take it outside.
- Cosmo Kramer: Come on, Larry, you know me.
- Larry The Cook: It bothers people and it's against the law.
- Jerry Seinfeld: You can make all the laws you want. He's still gonna bother people.
- Jackie Chiles: He's only been exposed to smoke for four days. By the time this case gets to trial, he'll be nothing more than a shrunken head.
- Jerry Seinfeld: So what? You've gone six weeks before!
- George Costanza: I can do six weeks standing on my head. I'm like a sexual camel. That's not the point. At least there was the possibility.
- Jerry Seinfeld: So, are you going to break up with her?
- George Costanza: I don't know. I don't want to be one of those guys.
- Jerry Seinfeld: What guys?
- George Costanza: Like us.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Yeah.