Scrubs (TV Series)

My Self-Examination (2004)

Judy Reyes: Nurse Carla Espinosa

Quotes 

• Nurse Carla Espinosa : [Dr. Cox looks up at Carla, the flesh all around his mouth bright red]  Why is your mouth red?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Duct-taped two hours in a morgue drawer; don't piss off the Janitor; end of story.

• Dr. Christopher Turk : [Reciting his vows for Carla at their rehearsal dinner]  Carla, I love that you get cold when it's seventy-one degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.

  [she furrows her brow at him] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Yeah, like you got right now! Just like that one! I love that you're the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [hissing]  Turk!

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude, I'm workin' here.

  [continues] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's our rehearsal dinner. I came here tonight because, when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : [the music sickeningly stops on Carla's cold expression. The gathered guests look similarly nonplussed. Marco, however, claps enthusiastically]  Turk.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Yeah, baby?

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : That's the speech from "When Harry Met Sally".

• Nurse Carla Espinosa : I'm ordering more pens. Do you like twisty bottoms or clicky tops?

  Dr. Perry Cox : I can't imagine anything I care less about.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : [Dr. Kelso enters, struggling with the pen in his hand]  Damn these twisty bottoms. We need some more clicky tops.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Not gonna happen, Bob. Here I just told Carla to order a hundred thousand twisty bottoms.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Nice face. But can't you just order a box of clicky tops for me?

  Dr. Perry Cox : No, Bob. Everybody gets the same.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Fine. I'll just take these.

  [He reaches for a cup of pens on the desk. Dr. Cox slaps the cup across the nurses' station] 

  Dr. Bob Kelso : You just bought yourself four weekends on call!

  [He exits, still struggling with his pen] 

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Damn twisty bottoms!

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : You just said you didn't care. Why are you fighting?

  Dr. Perry Cox : [whining]  I can't stop!

• Nurse Carla Espinosa : Dr. Cox

  [Dr. Cox looks up] 

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Why is your mouth red?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Duct tape, 2 hours in a morgue drawer, don't piss off the janitor, end of story.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Okay, I'm ordering more pens. Do you like twisty bottoms or clicky tops?

  Dr. Perry Cox : I can't imagine anything I care less about.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Damn these twisty bottoms, we need some more clicky tops.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Not gonna happen, Bob. Here I just told Carla to order a hundred thousand twisty bottoms.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Nice face. But can't you just order a box of clicky tops for me?

  Dr. Perry Cox : No, Bob, everybody gets the same.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Fine.

  [sees a box of clicky top pens] 

  Dr. Bob Kelso : I'll just take these.

  [reaches for pens, Dr. Cox knocks the pens off the counter] 

  Dr. Bob Kelso : You just bought yourself four weekends on call! Damn twisty bottoms!

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : You just said you don't care. Why are you fighting?

  Dr. Perry Cox : I can't stop.