Scrubs (TV Series)

My New God (2006)

Neil Flynn: Janitor

Quotes 

• Dr. Cox : There will be no whining or crying while we sit here, understood?

  J.D. : [Stroking Jack's hair]  He seems fine.

  Dr. Cox : I wasn't talking to him.

  J.D. : I don't whine or cry.

  Janitor : Really? Then how do you explain these photos of you whining and crying as you run away from the Kwans' apartment?

  J.D. : These are coasters.

  Janitor : My camera's broken.

• Dr. Cox : You know what, there, Newbie? You can go to the baptism. Now take Jack; Jordan'll kill me if he's not there. Plus, I know you - you're exactly one watered-down appletini away from trying to fix my sister and me.

  J.D. : No, thank you. If there's one thing I learned from this guy

  [gestures at the Janitor] 

  J.D. : , it's I need to stop trying to fix people's relationships.

  Janitor : You're welcome

  J.D. : Still, I've never known you to judge a person based on their beliefs. In fact, you're pretty tolerant of everyone. Except Hugh Jackman

  Dr. Cox : Meh

  J.D. : I just don't understand why your sister being religious bothers you so much

  Dr. Cox : It doesn't

  J.D. : Then why are you so angry?

• J.D. : Morning, Sunshine.

  Janitor : I don't like that.

  J.D. : Nobody seems to.

• J.D. : [J.D. has just agreed to help the Janitor move house]  I'll do it!

  Janitor : I knew you would. You're very predictable.

  [both at the same time - J.D. trying to prove the Janitor wrong] 

  J.D. , Janitor : No I'm not. Stop doing that! Peanut-butter-egg-dirt!