Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, would you please repeat the question?
Carla: Are you just gonna roll over like that?
Jordan: That's weird, I asked him the same thing last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage? The anger? The hate?
Jordan: Again, last night!
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: [gasps] Okay, now it's getting spooky.
Carla: Look, you're the only one who can stand up to Kelso.
Dr. Cox: Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present Man Not Caring.
Carla: Okay, Jordan, little help.
Jordan: If you don't do what she wants, I'm going to stop having sex with you and start making love... to you.
Dr. Cox: Where is that bastard? KELSO!
Dr. Cox: I wanted to tell you that you're doing a great job. Boy, that meatloaf today, it was virtually hairless.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: What the hell are we supposed to do?
Dr. Cox: Loretta... relax. I've been involved in every ridiculous TV-induced panic there is: poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, monkey pox, Pop Rocks, toilet snakes, mad cow, bird flu, swine flu and, quite frankly, every other flu that you could really only catch if you actually fornicate with the animal it's named for. And, as a parting gift, I will tell you this: narrow it down to two symptoms, vomiting and diarrhea, because it's just not E. coli unless it's firing out both exits.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Sure hope I don't have dog flu...
Jordan: Oh, for God's sake, Perry... adjust your bra, man up and fire the one with the least pathetic story.
Dr. Cox: Do you really think I know any of these people's stories?
The Janitor: Well... let me fill you in. First we have Hank: four kids, trying to make it on a dishwasher's salary. Next to him is Mike: lost half his leg in a motorcycle accident. And then there's Judy: been here 30 years... just two away from retirement.
Jordan: You're... you're friend with all these people?
The Janitor: Are you kidding me? I read their files! I read everybody's files, Ms Maniac-Depressive... Dr Drinks-a-lot...
Dr. Cox: Hold your horses...! Just tell me who the last person hired was, would you, please?
Kenny: [arriving holding a coffee pot] Looks like you folks could use a refresher! Ah, serving people like you who save lives every day makes me happier then a kitten chasing a leaky cow, ah ah ah! God bless you... God bless you...
Dr. Cox: I have to fire Opie, don't I?
Jordan: You think?