Nurse Roberts: Junior, I don't know what you're doing in my area, but you better be looking for some bandages because you're going to need them when I get through with you.
[realizes it's Dr. Kelso]
Nurse Roberts: Dr. Kelso... I didn't recognize you in scrubs.
Dr. Kelso: Well, that's okay, Laverne, I didn't recognize you without your mini-TV and your feet up.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [J.D. is hanging from the flagpole by his underwear] Am I the only one they've ever done this to?
Dr. Christopher Turk: No, man, they did this to Frank Fratcherman.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Who's Frank Fratcherman?
Dr. Christopher Turk: Okay, you're the only one.
Nurse Laverne Roberts: [about Dr. Kelso, whom everyone believes is dead] He's with Jesus now...
Nurse Laverne Roberts: Tough break, Big guy.
Dr. Kelso: A joke? You think it's funny they already gave away my parking spot? You think it's funny that one of the surgeons paid his dwarf cousin, Lance, two hundred dollars to show up at rounds and sing, "Ding-dong, Kelso's dead!"?